#i need to watch more female ensemble anime

[mochie85]

Dear, congrats again on this milestone! I’m sooo happy for you and hope to keep enjoying your amazing writing and talent in this place 💜

I want to make a request with a song, just if it inspires you, so no pressure (;

Brut Gold - Chapter 1 Loki & Lia

1K Celebration Masterlist | Brut Gold Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: Loki sees you dancing in his club and is immediately infatuated with you. Pairing: Mob!Loki x Female Reader/OFC Word Count: Over 3K Warnings: No Smut, angst, killing, language A/N: Part of my 1K follower celebration. I want to thank @coldnique for this request and for introducing me to this song. I love this song! It is now on heavy rotation in my playlist. And the following scenario is what I pictured when I first heard it. So I hope you like it.

The haze of the club seeped through the walls and into the lungs of every guest attending that night. The air was heavy with deep breaths and sighs. The music was so loud and deep you only had yourself for company; because no one else could hear anything you could or would be saying.

The large hall was dark, with vintage speakeasy furnishings and two bars that boasted to have every drink imaginable. There were private booths in the back that were separated by curtains of red and chrome. Curls of smoke could be seen wafting out when the curtains were pushed back to reveal secrets and obscurities.

Beyond that were the private rooms of the owners where they conducted their daily business.

The Odinsons. They were brothers from an old family, with ties to the royal households of Norway dating back a long time. With money stretching even further back.

Back here, the curls of smoke were thicker with lace and the music was replaced by the screams of people whom the brothers had deemed worthy of their attention. Good…and bad.

Loki had just collected his dagger from the body slumped on the floor. His second-in-command, Fandral, quickly approached him and handed him a handkerchief to wipe his blade. “Thank you, kommandør. Be a dear and dispose of the trash, will you?” Fandral nodded silently to Loki as Hogun leaped up to help him.

“Brother, if you keep killing them, we’ll never find anyone to distribute our product,” Thor said, with an amused grin. He sat with his legs crossed on the back couch, looking like a Pharoah presiding over his kingdom. His crisp white suit hung delicately along his muscular frame. Quite the opposite of Loki’s leaner figure clad in an all-black ensemble.

“Well, if we started recruiting more loyal soldater, I wouldn’t feel the need to kill them.” Loki retorted.

Just then, Lady Sif walks through the door with a tiresome expression on her face. “Another one, Loki? I just saw Fandral and Hogun carrying a black duffel bag to the back.” Loki could only shrug as he wiped his blade clean.

“There she is!” Thor yelled. “My wife. My heart.” He held out his arms for her to join him. Sif pulls out her dagger and places it against Thor’s throat.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

“Ooh. I love it when you’re feisty.” He says pushing the blade away from himself slowly. She swings it back his way, expecting an answer. “No, I did not.” He sighs.

Satisfied by his response, she stows her blade and sits on his lap. Loki watches as Thor nuzzles up to his advisor-turned-wife, rolling his eyes at the blatant expression of love between them.

Deep down he knew he was jealous. Not of Thor, but of the connection he has with the person he found to love. But Lady Sif had always been by their side. She grew up in this life. She knows the harsh truths about sacrifice and gains. She was their rådgiver, their adviser.

Loki wanted someone outside of the chaos. Someone who doesn’t know who he is and doesn’t expect anything out of him but love and affection. That was hard to find in the line of work he was in.

He finished cleaning his daggers when Fandral opens the door and whispers to Loki, “It’s done. Volstagg is driving it to the junkyard as we speak. The front of the house needs your presence though.”

“Thank the gods. If I must stand here another minute, I might witness the creation of my future niece or nephew.” Loki whispered back, making Fandral look at what was happening on the couch. He just rolled his eyes and followed Loki out of the room, leaving the two lovers alone.

Closer and closer, Loki struts to the front of the house. The music got louder. The air got thinner. And his heart raced faster in time with the beat of the music.

Loki stopped at the threshold of the large hallway, flanked by Fandral and Hogun on either side. Those closest to them stopped and stared. The three were a sight for sure. All three were dressed impeccably in black slacks and dark shirts. Loki looked the most devastating of all with his shirt sleeves still rolled up and his top buttons still loose from the ‘sentencing’ he carried out moments before.

He looked around the club and saw a large sea of people swaying and gyrating to the music. It was busier tonight than usual. The locals mixed in with the tourist crowd for the summer.

A twinkling flash of gold caught his attention in the middle of the room, and he spotted you dancing on the floor.

Everyone else stared at them. Knew of them. But you- you remained unaffected and joyous as you continued swaying your body to the deep bass of the music. Loki was mesmerized. He’d never seen you in his club before. The sway of your hips made the gold sequence of your skirt catch his eye and he couldn’t look away.

As soon as they sat down, they were bombarded with attention. Some were from lower soldaters, soldiers who wanted to be in the inner circle and paid their respects. While others were of a more sexual nature. Loki ignored them all and just watched you.

He watched as your hands ran through your hair, your body moving to the beat. Your head thrown back lost in the music. He wondered if that’s how you would look, lost in passion, in between him and his bed.

You came in with a bachelorette party. The women you were with all clamoring for attention from the other clubgoers, getting drinks and compliments. You shone brightly behind them, keeping a low profile, just dancing and being protective of your friends who would otherwise end the night with some predator. Loki saw that as a positive quality of yours. Protective, loyal, caring, and gorgeous. He could see all the stares of appreciation you got every time you passed by someone.

He scoffed at the laughable attempts that were directed your way. All of which you turned down. He continued to watch you dance with your friends from one of the private booths in the back. He instructed his bartender to give you and your friends top-shelf drinks and made sure that no one else bothered you for the rest of the night.

Never, had anyone affected him this way before. Just one look at you and he was stunned. He never put much stock in fate or destiny. He always relied on his judgment and instincts. So, this fleeting moment of obsession alarmed him. “Find out all you can about her, Fandral. And don’t alert my brother of your research.” Loki asked his kommandør. Fandral and Hogun looked at each other quickly and let a sly smile pass between them.

Loki would’ve caught their little interaction, had it not been for some ingrate that tried to get handsy with you. Loki growled his displeasure from his seat.  But you quickly slapped the cretin’s hands away and pushed him off. When the lowlife tried a second time, Hogun got up to take care of the situation. He’d seen the way Loki was all night. Loki hadn’t paid a single attention to what was happening in front of him. He was too preoccupied with you. Hogun knew that if things didn’t deescalate quickly, he’d have a whole other mess to clean up.

Loki placed his hand on Hogun’s shoulder, stopping the deadly assassin from continuing. Instead, Loki made his way to you as Hogun followed behind closely. “Thor won’t like this if you make a scene, Loki,” he whispered in his ear.

“Who said I was gonna make a scene?” Loki paused with a solemn face. Hogun huffed in response. “Take that scum to the back. Make sure he doesn’t have use of those hands for the foreseeable future.” Hogun knew better than to roll his eyes at him. He simply nodded and grabbed the offending fool off by his collar.

Everyone gave Loki a wide berth as he walked right up behind you. Up till now, he’d only been watching you. But there was something about that handsy boor that stroked his possessiveness towards you.

He started to sway in time with your body. His arms snaked around your hips, as his lips came dangerously close to your ear. You were about to turn and slap whoever decided to get frisky with you until you heard Loki’s velvet voice caressing your ear, “Dance with me.”

There was a deep command laced in his tone. You had never heard a voice sound so sensual. So confident. His touch was firm but reverent. As if he were the lead dancer instructing your body on how to move. Your body relaxed into his. A sly smile formed on your face as you felt his hands trace your curves.

Loki twirled you to face him. You first noticed his eyes. They were cunning and sharp. They were also the brightest green you had ever seen. His smile was what you liked the most. His thin lips gave way to a wide smirk that promised fun and excitement. You could feel his strong arms holding you close to his body as you both swayed slowly to the fast-paced music.

“I’ve been wondering when you would make your move,” you said to him.

“So, you’ve been watching me, have you? I’m flattered.” Loki purred with a guarded smile.

“It’s hard to miss someone whose got the attention of everyone in the room.” You continued as you swayed your hips.

“Likewise, my dear. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you.” He whispered in your ear. A blush formed on your cheek from his charm. “Have a drink with me.” His tone left no room for refusal. Loki kissed your hand as he leads you back to his private booth. Everyone you passed just stared at you with judgment or awe.

He signaled to his barkeep for a drink while he held the curtains open for you to slide in. Soon after, a scantily clad woman, wearing the tightest mini skirt you had ever seen, walks up with a tray. She holds out the bottle for Loki to approve and he nods his head without taking his eyes off you. The pop of the bottle startled you and made you jump closer to his embrace. She eyed you suspiciously as she poured a gold bottle of brut with a spade on the front label. His eyes viciously glinted as he felt your body press up against his.

He snaked his arm tighter around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “Have you ever had Armand de Brignac before?” he whispered in your ear.

“No. I can’t say I have,” you smiled as he reached for his glass, dismissing the bottle girl. Loki held it up to his lips and took a sip. His eyes noted how you looked down at his throat, watching him swallow the expensive champagne.

With closed lips, he leaned in close to you. He pressed his mouth to yours and puckered slightly opening your lips to the cool champagne in his mouth. You sucked on his kiss as the taste of the champagne coated it. It was tart with hints of fruits. The bubbles were still evident as they tickled in between your joined lips. You drank the rest of the champagne from his mouth. His hands held the back of your head steady, helping you drink from him. When you had finished, a trickle fell down your chin to your throat. He was quick to wipe it away with a hooked finger and brought it over to your mouth to lick off.

You played along with his game and wrapped your lips along the length of his finger, licking the drop of bubbly from the bend.

“Delicious, is it not?” his voice hitched.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly. “Very much so.” Your mind tried to catch up. Your body was thrumming with adrenaline and hot need. Your bodies were turned towards each other in the private booth as his hand continues to caress the hairs on the back of your head.

“Would you like another taste?” he offered, looking down at your lips. He grabbed the flute without waiting for your answer. As if he knew you would say yes. Hoped that you would say yes.

“Yes, please.” You whispered, making him smile. He brought his lips towards yours again and you happily drank his sweet champagne kisses. Your hands roamed his shirt, pulling on his shirt collar to move closer to you. When you had drank every last drop, you snaked your tongue in between his lips and tickled the roof of his mouth.

When you finished, you looked down at his throat again and your fingers traced the outlines of a snake tattoo on his neck. Loki rumbled at the feel of your fingers on him. “You dangerous creature. I don’t even know your name.” His breath smelled like the champagne, crisp apples, and fruit.

“My closest friends call me Lia,” you whispered as your fingers followed the tattoo down to his collarbone.

“My friends, if I had any, call me…” Loki started but he was soon interrupted by someone calling out your name.

“Lia!” Your cousin slid the curtains open, much to the protest of Hogun standing guard. She had on a tiara with a veil and a sash that said wifey around her shoulder. “Lia! There you are!” Rosaline glared at Loki and grabbed your hand. “We have to go. Other clubs to visit.” Rosaline gave Loki a tight smile as she pulled you out of the booth. She looks vaguely familiar, Loki thought, but couldn’t put his mind as to where he’s seen her before. The bachelorette get-up surely didn’t help his memory either.

“Ok. Ok. Hold on a second.” You told her as you scooted out of the booth. Loki held on to your other hand, not wanting to let go.

“Lia.” He called out. “Will I ever see you again?” he smiled as you got up from the booth.

“I…”

“My cousins just visiting for the wedding,” Roseline answered. You gave her an angry look for talking on your behalf. “Come on. Let’s go.” Rosaline dragged you quickly away from the private booths and back to the safety of the group of girls you came with.

“What’s the deal, Rose? I thought you wanted me to find someone tonight?”

“Yes! Someone. Just not that one.” She said as she grabbed her purse and coat. Everyone in your group was doing the same, getting ready to go to the next club.

“What do you mean?”

“Girl, do you know who that is? No, of course you don’t. Ugh. Sometimes, I hate daddy for sending you away. All these years without my bestie…”

“Rose! Who is he?” you interrupted her, as she wrapped you in your coat.

“That is none other than Loki Odinson. Part owner of this club. Along with his brother, Thor Odinson.”

“Odinson?”

“Yes! That Odinson! The same Odinson that’s rivals with the Barnes family. You know…my fiancé!” The realization made you look back to the booth you had just shared. Except this time, Loki wasn’t alone. He was accompanied by another man. Striking blue eyes and an imposing figure, clad in all white. Thor Odinson.

“Brother, I leave you alone for a couple of minutes and you cause all kinds of mischief,” Thor laughed as he sat down in the booth. Thor watched you walk away, being towed by none other than Rosaline Strange. “If I ask you to stay away from her, would you listen?”

Loki ignored his question and watched as your cousin, undoubtedly, informed you of who he was. “I saw what Fandral was researching for you. Would you like to know who she is?” Thor dangled the information in front of Loki, baiting for any response.

“Her name is Juliette ‘Lia’ Banner. Daughter of Bruce and Donna Banner. Donna, her mother, is Strange’s younger sister. Her parents both died a long time ago in an accident. They weren’t ‘in the life’ and wanted to keep their daughter out of it as well. When they passed, Strange honored their wishes and sent Juliette away to boarding school and Uni abroad to keep her safe. Apparently, she just graduated and is in town for the nuptials of her cousin Rosaline and James Barnes.”

“Barnes?” Loki said alarmed.

“Of all the juicy details I said. That’s the one you pick up on?” Thor chuckled. “She’s got too many ties for us to unravel Loki. Leave her be.” Thor warned resolutely.

“I don’t know if I can, Thor.”

“What do you mean you don’t know if you can? You have to. Or else…”

“Or else, what? Thor? Cut me off like you did Hela?”

“DAMMIT LOKI! You knew that was her decision.” Thor slammed his fist on the table making everyone in the vicinity jump. “I can’t protect you if you go after this girl. It would be a war for sure with Barnes and we don’t need that right now.”

Loki sat there quietly; watching as your group prepares to leave. “I’ve never lied to you brother…” Loki started. Thor just raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “…Regarding matters of the business and family. I’m telling you right now, that I want her.”

“How do you even know she wants you back? You can have any goddam cunt in here tonight. Hel, this whole club wants to sleep with you. Take your pick. But not her Loki!”

“If she turns to look back…”

You walked towards the front entrance, the chill from the summer night was flowing through the doors making you hold on tighter to your coat. Your cousin and her friends all laugh and beckon you outside to join them. Each step you took forward felt heavy. You couldn’t help it. One last look.

Both men stared at you as you made your exit. Shivers ran down your spine as you replayed his last words to you, ‘Will I ever see you again?’

God, I sure hope so, you thought.

⬅️ Series Masterlist | Brut Gold: Chapter 2➡️

@alexs1200 @a-witch-with-words @athalialaufeyson @britishserpent @cakesandtom @crimson25 @el-zef @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @glitterylokislut @goldencherriess @holdmytesseract @holymultiplefandomsbatman @huntress-artemiss @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @immersed-in-mischief @kellatron55 @kikster606 @kkdvkyya @ladyofthestayingpower @lokidbadguy @lokiprompts21 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @lokisgoodgirl @lokisninerealms @lokischambermaid @lokixryss @loopsisloops @lucylaufeyson3 @luvlady-writes @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @mukagentropy @muddyorbsblr @nopenottodayson @one-oblivious-nerd @ozymdias @peaches1958 @salempoe @sarahscribbles @sarawr-reads @silverfire475 @springdandelixn @starktowerrooftop @theaudacitytowrite @thedistractedagglomeration @thomase1 @vickie5446 @vbecker10 @wheredafandomat @xorpsbane  

[nkatr84]

The Muppets:Mayhem Review

Spoiler warning!!!

Still here? Okay here we go!

I’m going to say what a lot of people are saying. Because it’s true. This is one of the best things Disney has done with the Muppets in years. I think Disney has been struggling to figure out what magic Jim Henson had to make the Muppets more than puppets. Specifically how to make them work as an ensemble where everyone gets a chance to shine. This show is a step in the right direction. A big freaking step.

The show is really about Nora, a young aspiring record executive who doesn’t have her life figured out yet. Since she had to raise her baby sister after her Dad died, her life got put on the back burner so she got a late start. And the only job she can find is at the defunct record label Wax Records.

Her boss Penny (a new Muppet that winds up being pretty funny) says she’s going to shut down the company and has Nora start shredding old paperwork. Only Nora discovers that Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem have a contract there to produce an album. Which they’ve never done despite 50 years of touring! (Have they really never produced an album? Did Jim actually never think of that? Eh I’ve ordered my copy of the vinyl already)

So Nora convinces the band to produce an album (or pay back the advance which Zoot misplaced) and the show becomes a journey of Nora helping the band make music history.

One of the best things about the show is it adds lore to the Electric Mayhem that actually humanizes them. Like we find out Dr.Teeth has a disapproving family that want him to take over the family dental practice (he’s an actual Doctor?!) Janice has a long lost twin sister, Animal identifies with Nora since he was abandoned as a baby! Zoot takes pictures all the time to help him remember things (eventually…and his full name is Zootowski!?) Lips apparently knows everyone in the music industry (and has the answer for world peace) Floyd is a perfectionist who got kicked out of West Point…it’s just all so good!

Another good thing is they introduce this character named JJ and you think he’s going to be the standard Muppet villain trying to sabotage the band so he can buy the record company. But the twist is…he’s not. He has opinions about the band being outdated, but he genuinely tries to help Nora succeed. And they also subvert the trope of the antagonist fighting over the female lead with the real romantic interest who is Moog, talented music producer and Mayhem super fan. Simply by Nora and JJ deciding to be friends and Moog and Nora don’t get together at the end. That’s very refreshing. Now if this show gets a second season they better not make their whole relationship a will they or won’t they thing.

Speaking of, we need a second season! There’s a lot they haven’t dealt with like Janice’s sister or where Animal came from and they definitely leave it open ended so that we can get more rock! More roll! More Mayhem!

Most of all it’s just a show full of heart that will just make you smile. It’s so wholesome! It’s not a laugh out loud comedy but the Muppets never were. There are celebrity cameos and tons of creativity and lots of great music. Both covers of classic songs and new music too!

So watch it now on Disney +! Get it trending so they can see we want more! Can you picture that!

[natsspammityspamspamham]

I'm actually writing this post specifically for @deepwoodenheart because they followed my main and were not a porn blog. Thanks! They've recently expressed an interest in Yuichiro Umehara (a voice actor), and @msyuksanh is his number one fan who is the one who actually introduced me to this specific voice actor. Since I watch a ton of anime (an unhealthy amount), I will be running through some of the stuff I have watched (and some stuff I haven't). Some of these are just to make fun of these anime, but I don't fault any seiyuu for taking a bad role because you do what you need to to make that bread 🍞

His list of roles is big but not as big as some other voice actors, so I was able to go through which ones I had watched or heard of quite quickly. He has made some random appearances in other anime that I've watched where I went "Huh, definitely know this guy from somewhere" like Fire Force, Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun, and Kaguya-sama.

Note: I haven't watched Jojo Part 6 yet or that parody magic anime with the wombat. The anime will go in no specific order, but it generally goes from "good" to "mediocre" to "these anime can go suck cheese" with anything below the "keep reading" being literal trash-tier anime. There's also some missing stuff, especially in terms of idol anime because I haven't watched those and don't plan on it for now. From looking at the cast list, I think his major idol roles are in Magic Kyun, Tsukipro, Ensemble Stars, and Idolmaster SideM (regular Idolmaster is for female idols).

Akagami no Shirayuki-hime

I was talking to a friend of mine recently when we went Christmas shopping, and when he saw this manga he went, "I didn't like that one." I personally did like this one. His complaint was that too much time was given to the secondary love interest. Umehara plays a supporting (but recurring) character.

((This scene still makes me laugh to this day. Kaori Nazuka was really funny here.))

Fruits Basket (remake)

Okay, Umehara admittedly barely shows up in this one, but people should watch Fruits Basket no matter who they are. It's good for the soul. That is all.

((It took me so long to find a fricking gif of this bir-- guy.))

Romantic Killer

Anyone who reads this or anyone who has Netflix should go watch this.

((Kabe-down))

Tenchi Souzou Design-bu

This anime is surprisingly not directly creationism, but it sure comes close! As a biology major, this anime was pretty neat, but some of it made me go, "What am I watching anyway?" I'm not an ecology specialist though, so maybe this makes more sense to others. His character is a supporting character, but he has some funny bits.

((He also gets to rap in this role, so that was kind of funny. My other favourite lines are "Wow, Mercury is dead!" and "WOO! SAIKOU NI COOL!!!"))

SSSS.Dynazenon

This one was not nearly as good as Gridman which was already divisive in the mecha community (that I'm not a part of). I heard from others that it was enjoyable, but I personally thought it was a bit of a bore. Props to the casting director for getting Chika Anzai and her cousin Junya Enoki. There are some subbed radio segments that are funny too.

((Also, this is the first anime I watched where he was cast as an ugly adult. Ain't nobody falling for kinoko hair over here. He has also played a piece of sperm, but I digress.))

Dame x Prince

This anime was built for cringe, and it succeeds at cringe. But because it embraces the cringe, it unironically becomes one of the better anime adaptations of an otome game which is like saying you're the tallest dwarf of the seven dwarfs. It also gave a long-running radio with Kaito Ishikawa and Soma Saito.

Shingeki no Bahamut: Virgin Soul

I genuinely remember so little about this anime that I went to go watch clips to refresh my memory, and this anime wasn't even bad. It was mediocre, but for something based off a card game, they did really well. I actually watched this for Sumire Morohoshi and her bubbly character Nina. This is technically a sequel, so you'd need to watch the previous one to fully understand it. Oddly enough, I didn't know the first season was a romance until some characters kissed.

Gakuen Babysitters

This one was essentially built to be a comfort watch. It works at what it wants to do, but I don't like kids. The ending theme is cute, but Nishiyama looked way more into it (Umehara was there to get paid).

Shinchou Yuusha

I personally thought this anime was gonna be a Konosuba, and it kind of was, but it was far more palatable for me (I was not able to make it through Konosuba and will try again at a later date). Aki Toyosaki carries 99% of the comedy in this anime.

((That slime never did anything to youuuuuuu)

Orenchi no Furo Jijou

Fun fact: I watched this before knowing what a shounen ai was! I saw the shounen part and went "Oh, so my demographic" watched it, came out, and went "What. Was. That?!" I don't remember a whole ton about it, but I don't remember it being horrendous. It's just some mermaid in a bathtub. I think this was his debut role, and he does play a main character.

Juuni Taisen

This is probably in a similar boat as Tenkuu Shinpan (later in the list). It's just a bloodbath of an anime, but I will give it credit that it has fanservice for both sides (they sexualize men and women). Anyways, it has a stacked seiyuu cast for something that is so incredibly mediocre.

Tada-kun wa Koi wo Shinai

He had to be replaced partway through due to his acute immune disease. However, I think he recorded it in post-production. Either way, it's a supporting character in an anime that I think wasn't worth the watch besides the banger of an opening. Masayoshi Ohishi has a knack for writing openings for romcoms (he likes romcoms himself).

((He's the glasses guy))

Tenkuu Shinpan

I kinda want to watch this one just to turn off my brain and watch some Battle Royale-style gore.

((That character looks sick.))

Darling in the Franxx

Apparently, you're supposed to watch the first 12 episodes then dip, but come on, when the mechas are built like that, I'm not touching that thing. Even though it has Haruka Tomatsu and one of her most famous characters, I'm not watching it.

((It took me over 100 gifs to find one with Gorou in them despite typing in "Gorou Darling in the Franxx", and he is part of the main cast.))

Goblin Slayer

You know, for such an edgy first episode, this series is so mid at the genre it tries to take on after. Umehara said himself, "He doesn't really say much of importance." This anime has sexual violence (and it's explicit), and it's not even good.

Plunderer

I haven't watched this one, but he does star alongside his bandmate Yoshiki Nakajima. Both of them have been in better anime that is certainly not this one. I even read a chapter or two of the manga when it first started airing and went, "They're really making that, huh?"

((He forgot one streak of hair when dyeing it haha))

Kabuki-bu!

I couldn't make it through three episodes, but maybe I'll try again-- actually, no I won't.

Uchitama

Hmm... I haven't watched this one. It's not hard to see why, but basically, I have not reached that level of degeneracy, and if I do, someone should put me out of my misery.

Senjuushi

Fun fact: This anime is so bad that it has a rating similar to Boku no P-- I'm not finishing that title. I obviously didn't watch this one.

Makura no Danshi

I didn't watch this one, but I saw a video on it and was near tears from laughter and despair because there's no fricking way someone made an anime about this concept AND got Masayoshi Ohishi to write an OP for it. This is the stupidest thing I've seen in a while, and just being close to it made me even more embarrassed that I watch anime. I also listened to Masayoshi's version of the OP before I knew what it was connected to or how to understand some words in Japanese. After learning its association, I was legally obligated to take that song off my playlist.

[alchemists-wife]

hello!

A little introduction, so to speak.

Female, adult, autistic. Preferable name on this platform is Tenshi. My english might be wobbly, or strange, or straight up wrong sometimes, as it's not my native language, I'm still kinda learning.

Here mostly for fun or interesting insides on the topics of different fandoms. Don't care about fandom drama, don't care about someone or something being "problematic", don't need people telling me what to like or dislike for whatever reasons, I can figure it out myself, thank you very much.

Sometimes I'm gone for weeks. Life is busy, mental health is shitty, y'know?

Some of the fandoms I'm in:

games:

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Baldur's Gate 3

Dragon Age (origin, da2, DAI)

Persona 3

Pathologic

Slay the Princess

Our Life Beginnings & Always (waiting for the second game!)

Witch's Heart

Ensemble Stars

YTTD

Hello Charlotte

some other rpg/wolf maker games

manga/animations/tv shows

Pandora Hearts

Vanitas no Carte

FMA: Brotherhood

Good Omens (+ book)

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Also a very important mention: Terry Pratchett's Discworld (mostly the Night Watch and everything about them)

And more! Might add if I remember to.

Also here is my bg3 side blog.

[bergeronprocess]

My Winter 2023 anime reviews! I was waiting to write these until UniteUp! finished its run, which it now has, so...here we go!

Discussed below the cut: UniteUp!, Nijiyon Animation, The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague, Handyman Saitou in Another World, Buddy Daddies, Soaring Sky Pretty Cure

This past season, I actually watched a lot of shows that were primarily about men or boys! That's kind of unusual for me, but I had a good time. I even tried watching an isekai. More on that later.

I'll start with UniteUp! actually. This is my sleeper hit of the season. It was plagued by covid related production delays - which actually led to them putting out some interesting "behind the scenes" episodes to fill the air time that had already been set aside for the show. It's an idol show, but it's different because I feel like they are a bit more realistic about the Idol Business compared to, say, Love Live (which I am also a fan of, I'm not hating). The characters are all really charming, even if sometimes I forgot all of their names lol ensemble cast problems, and the music is really good (especially the Crossfire theme song). The concerts and dancing are animated really well - they're of course using CGI there, but that makes it look really realistic and accurate. I haven't heard much chatter about this show, although Cy from Anime Feminist was effusive in their praise of it, and I just want more people to watch UniteUp!

Since I just mentioned Love Live, I also watched Nijiyon Animation. Cute, super-short length episodes based on 4koma comics. lt was like a fun little dessert every week lol. Nijigasaki is my favorite Love Live, so of course I loved it. It was also a nice farewell to Tomori Kusunoki as Setsuna.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague was a big ole nothingburger. Pretty much no character development actually happens and we're never really sure if the titular characters are even dating in the end. Basically the only thing that happens is the passage of a year. Anime Feminist also pointed out the weirdness of the "if Himuro gets a fever, he turns into a little boy" thing, especially that scene where he is in little boy form and then accidentally pins Fuyutsuki to the bed in her hotel room and they have that blushing "ooh, oh no~" reaction that would be just...much less weird...if the guy wasn't literally in a child's body at that moment. At least there was a lot of cat content in this show, but near the end of its run I was just like "ugh, I'm frustrated with the lack of progression here but I feel like I need to see it through to the end."

Another show that had some pacing issues was Handyman Saitou in Another World, the one isekai I watched! It did have a cool premise and I like how Saitou can apply his practical 21st century knowledge of locksmithing and such to the generic medieval high fantasy style premise place. I liked Raelza too (she's played by Ai Fairouz, who is fabulous in every role I've heard her in) and there were some interesting elements. I just feel like we spent too long on the side story with the ninja and the witch. This guy loves this woman so much even though their "meet cute" wasn't so much cute as kinda creepy?! He steps on her shadow so she can't move and then kisses her? Yikes! Their story takes multiple episodes to resolve and I'm just like can we get back to the main quartet PLEASE? I did like the other adventuring parties we meet, especially the big buff dude who has a crush on Saitou. Now, the fact that death can potentially be reversed in this world did lead to some of the "oh no! This character died" story beats feeling hollow since they were always followed by "well hold on, we'll just do a revival spell" or whatever. And there is some fanservice that might as well have come with a big ole "You're not the target audience here, Emma" sign on it. Overall, I am not sorry I watched it, and I think it's a cut above the dime-a-dozen isekais that are pumped out every season, but it had its issues.

I loved Buddy Daddies. It's so much more than just "modern Spy x Family"! Kazuki and Rei are both relatable in very different ways, Miri is probably a more realistic depiction of a child her age compared to Anya (I am not a parent though), it was always fun to play "Which car is this person driving" (Ogino's Chrysler 300 is definitely an odd choice still lol) and I feel like it had a nice ending. It didn't treat its adult women characters super well - when Anime Feminist described Yuzuko as getting fridged, I was like yeah...you're right. And then Misaki was really trying to do better and atone for her mistakes, but she gets hit with the double whammy of cancer and her sudden murder. Damn. At least Miss Anna got out okay. I like to wonder what happens when Rei's dad kicks the bucket. Does he then immediately inherit the organization and the giant estate? He obviously has no interest in it, so what would he do with it all? Probably just burn down the estate and disband the organization, right?

And finally, it's the Pretty Cure series that finally did it, that finally got me Precurepilled...it's Soaring Sky Pretty Cure! I tried watching Delicious Party episode 1 last year, but between the art style and the "weird magical desert place that the battle happens in," I just couldn't vibe with it. But phew, Soaring Sky is SO good. I love the art, I love the characters, it's all just so much fun and enjoyable. I like to try to watch it first thing on Sunday mornings. It's obviously still running right now and we haven't even been introduced to Cure Butterfly yet, let alone the midseason Cure (an aged-up Ellee maybe?), which means there is a lot still to do. Also I have a theory that Yoyo is the mysterious hero who inspired Sora back in the day. Like she used to be a Cure herself, perhaps. That would be fun.

Other than Skip and Loafer and the second part of G-Witch, spring is looking pretty sparse for me, so...all the more reason to keep watching older Pretty Cure seasons, right? I'm working on Kira Kira and want to watch Star Twinkle after that!

[sawamuras]

i was tagged by topaz @chinatsuhiyama​ and carmen @kagyamatobios​, thank you!!!

rules: write your 10 favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 people in no particular order:

sakura chiyo (gsnk)

tomoyo daidouji (cardcaptor sakura)

sawako kuronuma (kimi ni todoke)

ochako uraraka (bnha)

haruhi fujioka (ohshc)

miyano (tkwik)

atsuko kageri (little witch academia)

akagi mako (bey)

luna lovegood (hp)

inej ghafa (soc)

tagging: @kaijohs @kaiyochins @yatoqmi @kousseii @keithkogana @oiivkawa @sesukes and anyone else who would like to do it!

[demonslayedher]

Okay so this might be nsfw(?) I’m not sure, but I’m just really curious to know if there were bras in the taisho era. Because I was wondering if that was what Daki/Ume was wearing during her fight(s). So so sorry if this has been asked before !!

Bras are reality, Anon, that question is safe here, no worries. And it's a quick answer: nope! Bras as we know them weren't even invented until 1910 by a young New York socialite, as the story goes, and although they very quickly gained popularity in the US and Europe, they didn't come into common use in Japan until the post WW2 period. Because of how they better shape the body for western style clothes, they really took off in Japan in the 1950's, when western clothing styles really started sweeping the country.

What would had been more common in the Taisho era was not to wear anything but normal kimono-like layers as chest undergarment. Even nowadays, bras are not typically worn with kimono due to the curvature they'd add to the chest; there are instead other padded undergarments which cover the whole chest area to add to the more tubular shape of a kimono ensemble. Depending on how tightly the kimono is bound and where the obi sits on a women, often that's all the support she feels she needs. On her lower half, however, women often wore yunoji, which were like skirts tied around the waist and covered the hips and upper thighs. The male equivalent was the fundoshi, which, and by merit of watching anime or generally having interest in Japanese culture, you've probably seen here or there, tied in various forms. Even Inosuke uses one, and his name is written on it. (And in case you're wondering about what women did when menstruating, as I understand, folded paper was pretty common.)

So when a woman wanted more support in the chest area, what could she do? A traditional form of chest binding, more or less, with a long piece of cloth called sarashi. In addition to supporting the breasts, it was also common to use these to wrap the botton of a big pregnant belly for more support, or even to carry children around afterward. When used like a bra, you may have seen this among girlbosses who have only half their kimono on and smoke from long pieces while generally being intimidating. In my personal experience, I've even seen it used at festivals, which is how I've worn one once. My experience was that it felt very secure, so I had a lot of freedom of movement. It did start to feel like one solid object that kept sliding down and needing constant readjustment after several hours of sweating and moving around in it, but otherwise I was comfortable. Appearance-wise, it actually spans a pretty wide area of the rib cage, from right under the armpit, so I didn't feel overly exposed in it either. If you're thinking of a certain character who could have really, really benefited from a sarashi both in how it could have supported what she was endowed with and how it would have made her more confident in her appearance, yes, I'm with you, I totally agree. The haori and socks are great and all, but someone give that girl a sarashi.

If we take this back to Daki, yeah, she... uh.... was pretty fashion-forward in her tastes, even predating bikinis by a few decades. (That being said, there are worldwide records of bikini-shaped undergarments from around the world that didn't exactly influence Taisho era Japan, but long, long, long predate the bikini or bra anyway.) But she's in good company for not being dressed in a historically accurate way, female ninja never wore anything like that in real life.

So anyway, here's Daki in more standard undergarments. It's very unexciting.

[theliterarywolf]

>"Okay, so is darling in the franx an actual "have sex, make kids" propaganda?" As someone who watched Franxx while it was airing? Not really? The actual show is a post-apocalyptic dystopia where children are born and trained to pilot mechs in two-person Male/Female teams to fight off Kaiju that spawn from the Earth as a result of mankind harvesting "Magma Energy" to keep the Adults of the domed cities in lives of blissful, ignorant and immortal comfort (while living bland and stagnant lives, getting their physical needs provided but their emotional needs basically nonexistent—void of any names, emotions, passions, companionship, socializing, or even simple pleasures like eating or dreaming) while the children all suffer and die in the name of Humanity's Big Brother-esque Cult Leader figure "Papa." The Children have next to no actual education on anything because their entire purpose is to fight and die piloting the eponymous Franxx Mecha, so they're incredibly sheltered and don't actually know how to love, be free, or really act as mature humans, but that starts to change as the core cast starts realizing how Papa and his entourage aren't nearly as benevolent as they seem, thanks to Hiro (the MC)'s stunningly well-written romantic relationship with 02 (pink-haired girl with horns who you've probably seen a bunch in fanart). The "I wanna have a baby" thing is because one of the other ensemble cast girls finds a book on child raising or something in the ruins of a destroyed pre-apocalypse town they explore on the beach episode and asks her love interest to help her make one because that's her idea of what you do as a couple, which the anime journalists ignored the context of "These kids don't actually understand romance or families or anything because they're tykebombs who have no idea how horrific their life is" to scream and throw tantrums over "Japanese heteronormativity and hating queer people blah blah fucking blah I'm a dumbass" and other stupid shit like that while taking the Shinzo Abe "Have sex" meme too seriously. They also missed the part where, due to these kids being genetically altered freaks, the girl loses her memory during the pregnancy so it's not like it's wholly glamorized like propaganda would be. There was also one bit where there was another Mecha pilot who, due to his uprbringing as a clone soldier in this fucked up society, was basically some form of... I don't even know what to call it, some form of militantly sex-repulsed Asexual(?) who thought relationships were dumb and gross and he got slapped for it. Somehow people twisted that into being some nonsense about homophobia despite the fact that the character who slapped him was A LESBIAN. The show's reception is mixed due to developments that happen near the tail end of the series, but I still think it's worth a recommendation and it gets more shit on than it actually deserves (example: people saying certain plot twists "came out of nowhere" despite some very obvious foreshadowing that you really can't have missed unless you're either a moron or you didn't pay attention).

I'll grand you that description is very likely based on some form of Japanese social commentary allegorically speaking, but reducing it to "I WILL KEEP IT REAL WITH YOU SHINZO ABE" really pisses me off for a lot of reasons because that was only one part of the major theme of "Utilitarianism strips us of all that makes us human and the joys of life that we experience like love" and reducing it to just that is just incredibly dishonest. It's also part of the usual Social Justice Warrior rhetoric that show just how much people who claim to care about "America Centric Views/Cultural Imperialism" Have no goddamn self-awareness whatsoever because Japan's relationship with LGBT issues is different than ours, and trying to shame them on it, especially for contexts as stupid as this, is going to fall on deaf ears.

Welp, that was a lot. However, it does look at things from the perspective of someone who watched the show all the way through, so it's still good to have.

[likeabxrdinflight]

I finally watched encanto and I'm trying to figure out why it didn't hit as hard emotionally as I feel like it should have.

it's not that it's a bad movie. the music was fun and the songs were good. it's a perfectly competent film and a good story with good themes. the animation is excellent, the specific cultural aspects felt much stronger than in past disney projects (except maybe lilo and stitch), the use of colombian style music and spanish language was...yes. and it cannot be overstated how much I appreciate seeing a disney female protagonist with glasses. but something in the emotion just...wasn't there?

and that's very weird because I went into this knowing the grandma was traumatized and prepared for it to hit hard. I had a grandma who lost a spouse young and was left emotionally devastated and unable to properly connect to/appreciate her family afterwards. this should have hit me where it hurts. but it didn't. and I think it must be because there were some flaws in the storytelling.

for one thing there's too many characters, so not enough time was given to the ones that count. like all of pepa's family basically don't need to exist. they add nothing except antonio, who could easily have been mirabel's little brother. luisa and isabela could have been one character, we did not need two "eldest daughter syndrome" characters. (and keep luisa because her song is better. actually giving the buff girl the marriage storyline would have also been an excellent break with character type.) that alone would have helped streamline this thing immensely.

I think it also needed a better opening act. it felt like there was something missing in the family dynamic, and particularly in alma's character, who is the most important one to get right. and it's not that they got her wrong, exactly, but she just kinda...her arc should be the type that leaves you a puddle of tears, but it just didn't. something fell flat there and I think it's at least in part because the ensemble cast and goofier moments took screen time away from her and her relationships with the lead characters. the opening song, for example, had too much ground to cover regarding "who's who and with what powers". that's like five whole minutes of movie you're using to introduce a principle cast of like...ten people. with a more streamlined cast, it could have done more to delve into the character dynamics- a little more show, a little less tell.

[paper-n-ashes]

The Late Shift - Part 2

Characters: Paul Sevier x Female Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings/Tags: Little inklings of sexual themes. Otherwise we’re still in PG territory. Oh and mutual pining from two idiots. My favourite kind.

Authors Note: One shot? I don’t know her. Honestly, I don’t have any excuse. I just felt the urge to continue on with this dumb fluffy story because it makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside and I needed that. Will we drive this car straight into smut town afterwards? Ah you’ll just have to see. 

Catch up with Part 1 here

*

Paul always considered himself a smart guy. Perceptive, knowledgeable, with years of grueling education behind him to be where he is today.

His schooling, work, almost every minute of his waking moments was spent in the realm of artificial illustrations of correspondence. He could happily spend hours sifting through the words and numbers that made up all types of message transmission, might even admit he had a talent for decoding their significance and origin. Exchanges born from machinery were easy to analyse – they had set rules and gave little room for differing interpretation. He was comfortable in that world. Knew how things worked, what paths data and carefully devised information would take.

Human communication was infinitely harder to navigate. It was a skill he knew he was lacking in, compared to others at least. His words never came out the way he wanted, he struggled to say exactly what was wished to convey and agonised over the fact expression and tone could morph any remark into something with a whole different meaning.

Every day, he encountered people who used this as a tool - a weapon to obscure the truth and conceal hidden agendas. It was hard not to, working for the US government. In time, he’d become cynical. Wary of what people spoke aloud, assuming it was all said without much sincerity or reliability unless proven otherwise.

And then after another arduous day, there you were. Out of nowhere. Kind. Honest. Genuine. Within such an excruciatingly short interaction, you’d exuded all these traits so effortlessly. A breath of fresh air after being smothered by the smog the rest of his life contained.

Paul would easily admit his attraction to you was surprisingly swift. The rapturing smile you wore when you’d looked up from your notepad had him snared from the moment it appeared, an aura of natural vibrance and radiant energy shimmering out from your animated expression. What he’d expected to be a dry, tedious endeavour turned into a spark-filled scene, where an excited stranger made him feel both horrendously nervous and unusually at-ease. It had been a long time since someone made him feel like that.

It had also been a long time since he’d asked someone out on a date, for more than a few reasons. The more prolific Paul became in his job, the more unpredictable and unstable his life outside of it was. It took him across the country at a moments’ notice and consumed most hours of his day, meaning forging even short relationships was fairly difficult.

Plus… he just wasn’t good at it. Putting himself out there. He was shy, paralyzingly so. It’s not exactly something he could refute. His confidence was always born from experience and understanding, in knowing the reasons behind why things worked the way they did, along with being able to calculate what would happen next. No textbook could ever cover the entire spectrum of human personality, and there was no way to truly predict what a person might do or say. 

So, without the security of knowledge behind him, uneasiness and apprehension took over in most of his social interactions, particularly with those he felt a magnetism to. It’s exactly how he thought he seemed during his time with you. Awkward and floundering. Not exactly the most charming attributes for a man to have. And yet, the longer he was in your presence, the more he sensed those foibles fade into the back of his mind.

Talking to you was easy. Easier than it had been with anyone during a first meeting. What hadn’t been easy was enduring the seconds your touch grazed over him in your delicate workings while taking each different measurement - his heart beating a little faster, his muscles becoming a little more tense. When you’d eventually let your stare reach his, he’d seen how your eyes moved to trace the lines of his mouth, and it set his insides on fire. He’d been frozen by the unique type of burn, his body locked in place while a rare impulse begged him to sink his lips onto yours. In the past, he struggled to kiss a woman even after several dates, unable to push past the fear and doubt to turn his desire into action. However, in that moment, he’d been all too eager. His hand had moved on its own accord, fingers slinking up your waist, about to pull you closer when interruption instantly shattered his resolve.

The urge was still there in the dialogue that followed, although the promise of seeing you tomorrow made it easier to walk away, safe in the knowledge he had another opportunity to ask you out when his confidence was properly steeled. For once, he could be smart about this. Use his natural intellect to plan and act accordingly, giving him the best odds of securing more time with you.

Oh, but that all went to shit when your text message popped up on his phone screen. Seeing those words, even if they were meant for someone else, made his excitement reach an unfathomable peak, and in turn made him recklessly send a response without taking a second to think about the consequences.

And now, Paul had never felt so stupid in his entire life.

Sitting in the driver’s seat, the phone in his palm lit up with your conversation on display, he felt his stomach spasm with anxiety. Were you going to reply? What would you say? What if his bluntness freaked you out? What if you weren’t even talking about him? Was this all something his mind conjured up?

As the minutes passed without any sign of a response, the initially minor sense of panic began to compound, weighing heavy on his chest, the chaos of his mind soon melting into one certainty - he’d totally fucked this up.

About to slump his forehead into the steering wheel in a display of despondency, Paul suddenly felt a flash of courage at remembering the view of your face peering up at him. He knew the image of it would haunt him if he didn’t do something. He had to fix this. Explain himself. But it needed to be in person. He wouldn’t let technology mess this up for him again.

With a purposeful breath, Paul exited his car and began to retrace his steps past the other shopfronts, silently rehearsing what he wanted to say to you. He hoped to surrender himself to a collectively embarrassing situation, laugh off the turn of events, having it all culminate in an offer of dinner once your shift had finished. He already had a place in mind, only a street away, a little dumpling house that was always open late. Perfect for a cosy, quiet date after a chance meeting.

When his eyes latched onto your figure through the glass window, he stopped his hand from reaching for the door handle. You were crouching down in front of a small boy, his mother behind him cradling a newborn baby, your hand gesturing towards an array of child size suits. Paul couldn’t help but watch as your warming smile beamed, guiding the boys hands to touch and feel over the material, your words evidently making him feel more at ease as his expression slowly relaxed out of its worried frown.

Creeping backwards to make sure you didn’t catch him in your periphery, Paul felt a wave of relief wash over his skin, having evidence that your lack of reply wasn’t due to any of the worst case scenarios he’d been fretting over. You were just busy, concentrated on your work, giving your time and expertise to others in the same way you’d given to him.

The realisation was enough for him slink away, still impatient for your next encounter but assured in it being set within the next day cycle. He just had to wait.

Although, waiting wasn’t exactly a talent of his either.

 *

You were dying inside.

A friendly grin was plastered on your face as you conversed sweetly with the woman in front of you, making idle chit-chat while her son changed out of the suit you’d picked together, but the smile had never felt so insincere. Usually you loved when children came in to pick out ensembles for weddings and similarly formal events, but at the moment your mind was stuck on a small battery-powered rectangle sitting at your desk with a half-written message remaining under your lock-screen.

In the time before Paul’s response came through, you’d never felt more humiliated in your whole existence. Evaporating into thin air would have been a welcomed miracle. But when the returning text slid into focus, your whole mindset shifted.

He felt the same. He wanted you too.

You’d been in the middle of typing out a hasty invitation to come back and make true on his intentions when this overwhelmed mother with a fussy baby caught your attention. Her eldest son had done his best to iron out his only formal suit for the role of ring bearer in an aunt’s wedding this coming weekend, unfortunately resulting an a house full of smoke and a clump of burnt wool.

Personal matters withered into the background at the comprehension of her drained, exhausted demeanour, all your focus pointed back towards the job you’d been distracted from. Well, mostly.

You couldn’t avoid the thoughts and questions glinting in the back of your mind. Of what might have happened if this woman never appeared. What might be happening in an alternate timeline where you’d been able to send that waiting reply. Without intention, your wonderings turned into moving pictures – leading Paul into the back workshop, being roughly picked up onto the cutting table, his lips and yours finally connected in a heated clash, shedding all of his clothing until that heinous mustard shirt was crumpled on the floor-

The high pitched beep of the receipt machine snapped you back into reality, noting the relieved smile the mother wore while her son excitedly grabbed at the bags containing his dashing new suit.

“Thank you!” he hollered without needing to be prompted, waving his hand vigorously before skittering away to the door.

“You’re an absolute lifesaver,” the woman echoed, taking the receipt from your outstretched hand. “I’m really sorry for keeping you so late.”

“Oh don’t worry about it.” The time on the monitor screen just ticked over to 8:17pm, long after you would usually shut up shop and head home to your empty apartment. “I've got nowhere special to be.”

You each said your goodbyes, waiting until the precise moment her silhouette was out of sight before jumping to your phone. The same half written message was there, but now it felt impossible to finish. All traces of adrenaline had long since worn off, and the bravery that made you type out the risqué proposition was reduced to almost nothing. Your timid nature rushed back in full force, a thumb pressing hard on the little x button to erase all evidence of your out of character impulses.

Who were you kidding. You weren’t this person. Unashamed and brazen enough to dive into a fiery entanglement with a handsome stranger in the same evening you’d met. You wished you could be. There was never a time the concept was so enticing. But… it was a fantasy not meant for you to live out. They were destined for the outgoing, the cool and composed, the bold and sure-footed. You rarely felt like any of those things. And Paul, like most men, probably reserved their interest and attraction for those types of women. It was so silly of you to think any different. Getting your hopes up was foolish, and would only end in-

The tingle of the shopkeepers bell sounded, internally groaning as you slid your phone back onto the desk. “We’re closed,” you hawked, a coldness in your tone you couldn’t hide. Eyes snapping up to the intruder, a bolt of lightening shot through, barely able to stop the delight mixing into your blood.

“I just, uh, figured out something more that I needed,” Paul said softly, scratching the back of his neck, clearly nervous.

“You did?” you breathed. “W-what was it?”

His chest rose and fell with a calming exhale, making sure your stares were secured before giving his answer. “…You.”

*

Tagging some lovelies who might want to read. Feel free to let me know if you don’t want to tagged in future works!

@tlcwrites @roanniom @princessxkenobi @hopeamarsu @blowthatpieceofjunk @mariesackler @leatherboundriot @foxilayde @modernpaw @cornmousequeen @direnightshade @mylifeisactuallyamess @caillea @jynz-andtonic @paterson-blue @miraclesabound @prismaticpizza​ @millenialcatlady​ 

[retrovero]

welcome + rules 彡

“ — life mirrors opera, just as opera reflects life.

WELCOME !! my name is vero, and this is my gaming, editing, and writing blog! with currently being into so many games, hobbies, and anime series, I can’t just keep this blog dedicated to one thing. with that said, this acc will be meant to exert my love for multiple things. in the process, I hope to gain friends who share similar interests and are willing to partake on this journey with me!

if you’d life to know more about me, feel free to check out my about me carrd that is linked on the side menu bar of my blog. anyway, without further ado, let’s get on to the rules in regards to making writing requests! I did make a carrd that has all the rules that I will be mentioning now. it’s really meant for just aesthetic purposes/to familiarize myself with the program, but it is also to make things convenient for you! feel free to click on the retrovero’s rules tab that is also a part of the side bar menu. it beats having to scroll all the way down to the rules on my blog lol. 

☆ i.   — first and foremost, I will be accepting both genshin impact and demon slayer requests! considering that this is a multifandom blog, I want to be able to write for more than one fandom. however, for the time being, I will be sticking with just genshin and kny. later on in the future I will be opening up to other fandoms such as twisted wonderland and ensemble stars. 

☆ ii.   — please keep in mind that this is my first time writing for genshin impact and demon slayer. I ask that you please be patient with me and wait for your request to be fulfilled. I apologize in advance if my writing seems a little ooc, but I can assure you that with time I will slowly improve!

☆ iii.   — I only write self-inserts! please do not ask for anything involving particular ships and or an oc.

☆ iv.   — please be aware that nsfw is not allowed until i say otherwise. very light insinuations are acceptable. keep in mind that this rule will NOT be kept up for a very long time. I just need to gradually build the confidence to openly write intense content. I once again ask that you please be patient with me!

☆ v.   — I will not write anything in regards to incest & pedophilia, so do not ask. also, please do not request anything involving suicide & self-harming!! I do not want anyone to feel unsafe or triggered in my little cozy blog. the same applies for sexual assault/abuse, necrophilia, bestiality, any involvement of body fluids, and underaged topics. all of these are not allowed.

☆ vi.   — please submit your requests in the request (ask me) box. any submissions sent through other methods will not be accepted.

☆ vii.   — I am eternally grateful to any and all requests that are sent to me, but please keep in mind that I will not fulfill each and every one. too many requests can become overwhelming and will eventually lead me to feel unmotivated to write.

☆ viii.   — anything sent to me after the request box is closed will not be accepted, i'm sorry.

☆ ix.   — reacts & headcanons will be limited to two-four characters per request. one-shots are limited to one character.

☆ x.   — when writing your request, please make sure to include the gender of the reader (female, male, gender-neutral). if not, i will automatically make them gender-neutral.

☆ xi.   — au's are most certainly welcomed! i will also accept fluff, angst, and yandere!

☆ P.S.   — in regards to my knowledge about demon slayer, I have only watched up to the most recent episode and have not read the manga. having said that, I am not familiar with ALL the characters from kny. in the meantime, please request characters that have only made an appearance in the anime thus far. as for genshin impact, I know every character in the game, so feel free request anyone! if I ever can’t write for a character I will let you know.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

If I were to tell you what I took away from SKET Dance from old lessons to new, I would say that it said something along the lines of this:

“You are not the mistakes you made in the past. You are not defined the person you were before. If anything, the past is something that you cannot change, but you can surpass those regrets and try to change for the better. Trauma is something that cannot be left behind, but it can get better, especially when you are surrounded by the right people and support. Helping people doesn’t always change the world, but it can change the world of that person and maybe even yours.”

That cheesy quote took a while to write (so did this whole post), but that’s because I wanted to get it right. I wasn’t even sure where to start with this post of sorts.

I will warn ahead of time that if you aren’t familiar with anime, SKET Dance might be an overreach. It does have some references that are niche, and it has a lot of “manzai” (tsukkomi/boke) jokes with tons of mentions. There is fanservice, but no more than you’d see in some of the other series that were released under Shonen Jump. Sometimes the humour and everything can be a little cringy, but I think that’s a given with the fact that you are watching anime.

(This is spoiler-free, gluten-free, no trans fat, and took me too much time.)

Story

I get that it’s like Gintama, but I wouldn’t say it’s a “poor man’s Gintama”. Instead, take it for what it is. It’s like comparing a younger sibling to the older sibling. You’re not letting SketDan shine on its own, and it deserves to.

SketDan has a really simplistic story. It’s about a school club that wants to help people. There is no big war, massive battles, or over-the-top villain that needs to be crushed. I can’t say that it’s episodic, but it definitely leans towards the more “slice-of-life” approach. It has its own arcs that come one after another in good bits and pieces. This series balances itself so well with its drama and comedy. The backstories were done so well, and they didn’t even get to all of them! In fact, one of the best ones was left just in the manga.

The story is made by the characters. It doesn’t rely on the environment or the world around them. Instead, the world to them are the people they are surrounded by. No aliens, samurai, ninjas, or great big event, it’s just them, their high school, and their unconventional club.

Characters

This has got to go down as one of the best ensemble trios in anime. All of them do get their time to develop, and they balance each other out so well. You’d think these characters were friends for their entire lives. I can’t even say who’s the best because I think they’re all the best!

Bossun is a sensitive guy who’s insecure about being the main character of this series (yes, he does mention that). He doesn’t have any spectacular “Shonen Jump” skills. He has no “bankai”, “rasengan”, or “Kamehameha”. He has a hat and goggles. His power is concentration. These are completely valid reasons to be worried about your character status because, on the surface, Bossun sounds downright pathetic (and he knows it). But through the story, you get to see why he’s actually one of the best main characters out there (even if the cast doesn’t want to acknowledge it).

Himeko is one of the coolest characters in this series. I haven’t seen a weapon of that kind… ever. She isn’t afraid to slap the stuff out of anyone and will do anything for a friend. I don’t want to get into her character too much due to spoilers, but it’s revealed early on that she is quite legendary. She’s quite important for the humour of this story. It’s often brought up that she’s the “tsukkomi” (the one who responds to the “boke” stupid).

Last but not least of the great trio, we have Switch. This is probably the character I was most blindsided by. Even though I knew his backstory beforehand (nobody stops me from clicking from “show spoiler” button, it’s quite a problem). He’s the local otaku and database. And he’s probably the most observant. Even though he never “talks”, he’s one of the funniest characters in the series even when he isn’t in the limelight. I legally cannot dig into more about his character due to spoilers. You really need to see it for yourself.

The supporting cast is nothing to put aside either. A lot of them become more and more important as time passes, and the roles they play soon play right into the main plot of the story. We’ve got someone who speaks in “yabasu”, a ghostly occult member, a samurai, a captain, a tsundere, a visual kei star who doesn’t speak in any actual language, a 1.8m tall woman who can literally murder you with a slap, a voice actress idol movie star, and a teacher who makes drugs and bombs. That doesn’t even touch on the student counsel. Anyways, discovering these characters is part of the charm.

Art

There are too many good faces in this anime. While the art isn’t always consistent, it’s never “bad”.

The faces in this anime are on-par with other comedy anime. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Music

*downloads all the music*

I’m going to pretend like I haven’t listened to some of these on repeat since I finished the anime. Not all anime will literally have a designated band that are made after the characters. That was a really nice touch. There are a ton of special insert songs that go with certain arcs too.

SKET Dance is like any other anime in a way. It benefits from having a good OST. A good OST will add to the story. It will add to the anime, and it will convey all the right feelings. It helps with the comedy, the drama, and the random “what am I watching” moments.

Seiyuu

I wanted to save this category for last. This anime actually changed the way that I look at all the main seiyuu of this anime. It’s not that often that the Vomics (voice acted comics) have the same cast as the anime. They fit their characters so well, and I really can’t express that enough. I associate their voices with their character. It’s like how you can look at a picture of your favourite character and remember exactly what they sound like (or maybe that’s just me).

I haven’t actually heard a lot of lead roles by Hiroyuki Yoshino because he has such a uniquely odd voice. I think the last anime I watched where he actually played the protagonist was Kekkaishi which was quite a while ago. He did well for that role too. Another anime where he played one of the main characters was in Hai to Gensou no Grimgar which didn’t have a very enjoyable cast compared to other anime including SKET Dance (but still worth checking out if you like tamer isekai). I’ve also seen him play a suave character, but I actually skipped most of his lines going, “Not this again.” Present Mic is a character that he seems to be popular for, but those specific niche characters didn’t give him nearly the range that Bossun did. From the moments we were laughing with him and at him to the serious moments that really made me go quiet, it felt like he was truly the character.

Ryouko Shiraishi is such an underrated seiyuu. She admits that she doesn’t have a very cutesy voice, and due to that, the number of female characters she can play goes down, but I wouldn’t dismiss how great she is. For one, she’s really good at the Kansai dialect. Second, she plays a lot of younger male characters. She makes Himeko really cute but also really tough and spunky. She carries a lot of the humour as the reactor “tsukkomi”. And if you’ve watched Demon Slayer, she plays one of the demons and is so good at it. I really like her unique voice because it deviates from the norm just like Himeko’s character.

Gintoki—I mean Tomokazu Sugita is great as Switch, and even though sometimes we forget that he’s a legitimate voice actor who can actually voice act and not just scream on command. Of course, he’s funny. That goes without saying. Almost all of his well-known characters are known for being funny. Even the guy in real life is really funny. I’m not sure how much explanation would be needed for him.

Summary

Overall, I had such a good time with this anime. It made me laugh, feel the feels, and really smile (I mean the type that people really ask you what the heck you’re watching because you’re smiling like you just watched someone you hate fall down the stairs). It reminded me of what I liked from comedy anime, but it also reminded me what I like about anime that take it to basics with just its characters. Actions and battles are good once in a while, but the characters are the heart, soul, and being of this anime. If you’re looking for a good laugh or smile with a ton of gags and jokes with a great ensemble cast, look no further! SKET Dance is here!

I’m going to recommend this anime to anyone who has read this, @azroazizah​, @brettyblease​, @tsukiomoon​, and anyone else who likes those Shonen Jump shenanigans.

P.S. It is totally worth picking up the manga after watching the anime.

[madmaddoxfuryroad]

HSMTMTS: Season 3 thoughts

So I’ve been ruminating a lot about this show today (like every other day) and I got to thinking about what they might do for season 3. Less so plot-wise (I mean season 2 is just over halfway through), but more about what musical they might do, what the cast might be, and how that could tie into the individual characters and their arcs (some more so than others, but c’est la vie).

In trying to figure out what musical they might do, I started first with the obvious: what does Disney own? I don’t think they would return to the HSM franchise (until the final season, but thoughts on that for another day), so anything related to that and other DCOMs I counted out. I also eliminated all Disney animated/princess films. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but seeing as this season they are doing BATB, I don’t think they would immediately go into another animated-film-adapted-for-broadway right after that. So at that point I wasn’t quite sure where to go. Mary Poppins was really the only other thing that came to mind and while I love the film and broadway show I just don’t think it fits the cast well slash even has enough parts to really showcase them. You have Mary and Bert. And then I guess Mr. and Mrs. Banks? Then the kids are a whole other issue. It just felt messy. So I just started thinking about broadway shows that I like, I mean if they wanted to, Disney has the money and could pay for the rights to use most shows. Then everything fell into place.

Into the Woods. I am 100% positive I am letting my bias for this show cloud my judgement, but if you stick with me, I think I can persuade you (or not, your mind is your own and I respect that). First off, Disney owns it. At least I think they do. They made the movie (RIP), so I am going to safely assume they have the rights at this point. Next, yes it contains fairytale elements, which might make you feel it’s a little too close to BATB, but it is such a deconstruction of fairytales and their tropes that I almost feel like it is an amazing follow up to a more traditional fairytale. It introduces conflict and the real world into these fantasy scenarios, which I feel goes really well with high school in general and growing up, expectations being shattered, and learning to alter your world view (I really love this play). Plus, I think it would be exciting to see this cast do a more broadway-type show. Obviously BATB is a broadway show, but I think there is a lot of reliance on knowing the film and less on the play itself. And not going to lie after Julia Lester’s rendition of “Home” last week (which I have not STOPPED listening to) it would be amazing to hear these teens tackle more broadway-style music. Which, takes me to my final point: the cast. What I love so much about Into the Woods is how it is very much an ensemble cast. Yes some roles are bigger than others, but if you have a named character, odds are it’s a fairly good role. And the whole HSMTMTS cast is so talented, I like the idea of them picking a show where it does not feel like anyone is sidelined with their part. Now the only thing left to do is cast it…

FULL disclosure. I ran into an issue early on that I ended up thinking Ashlyn was perfect for every female role and Seb was perfect for every male role. But I was eventually able to push through and cast it (in my humble opinion) pretty well. So I am just going to go off in the order that I cast them, because I think it will help explain my thought process.

THE CAST

Cinderella - Nini. Once I got over my need to hear Julia/Ashlyn sing “No One Is Alone” (loophole to this coming later), this felt like a pretty natural fit and was one of the easiest to cast. For one, I just think Olivia’s vocal range pairs very well with Cinderella’s and she could do beautifully with her songs like “On the Steps Of The Palace”. But what really got me was the way she parallels the character so perfectly. Cinderella is a character who always dreams of more but isn’t quite sure what that “more” is. And because she isn’t *quite* sure what she wants, the character is often seen grappling with indecision (see: “On The Steps Of The Palace”). Most of Act I is her being stagnant and letting the Prince take the active role. Finally in Act II she starts to get a better sense of who she is, who she wants to be, and what she doesn’t want. So this felt like it tied in really nicely with Nini’s journey and would be a great role for her, especially when…

Cinderella’s Prince - Ricky. Yes, yes I know. Ricky and Nini playing love interests? Groundbreaking. But stay with me. For one, I just like the idea of Ricky not getting the lead male role, and this part is perfect for him, regardless. The whole relationship between Cinderella and her Prince mirrors Nini and Ricky remarkably well. The way the Prince sees Cinderella as this perfect maiden who, if he could just be with her, would be the only thing he would ever want/need. But of course this isn’t realistic and isn’t how relationships work, which they both come to terms with by the end of Act II. Their break-up/parting ways scene might be my favorite in the entire play and I think it would be so great for Ricky and Nini to get to perform. In part because the conclusion of the scene is basically them both admitting that they will always love the idea of the other, even though they don’t actually work as a couple. (**I am operating on the assumption that they will have broken up in season 2 and are still broken up, but never really dealt with it). Honestly I recommend just watching the scene I will link it here (it goes from about 2:12:35-2:15:00). Plus, I could totally see there being an episode where they are trying to rehearse this scene, but it just isn’t working so Miss Jenn has both of them improv it or rewrite the lines to something that might feel more comfortable or personal. And I just see that being a really beautiful moment for the two and a chance for growth and closure. I could go on about this dynamic, but I will move on to my final point: “Agony”. First, while it is mostly a comedic song, you can take just the first verse of the song and recontextualize it really nicely as a Ricky pining kind of song, which I absolutely dig (not quitting on my Rina endgame, and you can’t make me) I mean: “If I should lose her, how shall I regain the heart she has won from me? Agony, beyond power of speech, when the one thing you want is the only thing out of your reach”. And BONUS I think we could also get a full-on version of “Agony” in all its absurdist glory with…

Rapunzel’s Prince - EJ. Well, sort of. Technically, no. BUT for the purposes of “Agony”, yes. At this point EJ will have graduated, but I don’t think he will be written out of the show, so it remains to be seen exactly what his place will be. I just think these two 100% need a song together and this is 100% that song. I could see it being something as simple as EJ is helping out with the show, the unnamed kid playing Rapunzel’s Prince is out, so they have EJ fill in. Or they have to have him go on for that kid last minute during the performance. It’s a quick, easily explainable thing that would have SUCH a great payoff.

Jack - Big Red. This was certainly one of the easier ones to cast, but my first thought was of course Seb. Jack is just a boy whose best friend is his cow and Seb radiates that energy. But I needed him for something else. Enter Big Red, the perfect Jack. For one, Big Red has a lot of that starry eyed wonderment that Jack has, that none of the other characters do. There is a purity and innocence to the way Jack sees a lot of things. That pairs nicely with Big Red. And it also opens the door for him to grow and mature more as a character. By the end of the show, Jack is in a place where is needs to transition more to adulthood and with Big Red being a senior by season 3, I think there is a lot of potential here. Also, with Big Red as Jack, I really like the character he is often paired with in scenes, but I will hold back until I get to them.

Witch - Kourtney. Yes. It is her time. One can debate over which character is the “main character” of Into the Woods, but for me it’s the Witch. And Kourtney deserves this. Did I heavily consider Ashlyn for this as well? You know I did. But I grow more and more confident in the casting of Kourtney the more I think about it. First thing’s first: the Witch belts, and I mean BELTS. Dara is such a powerhouse vocally that she would crush every moment of that; I have total faith. But the Witch also has such quiet and tender moments that people don’t think about as much, but are so necessary for the character to be effective and I think she also has that on lock. We have not seen a ton of it (so I would be eager to get more) but when she did her version of “Beauty and the Beast” she was able to find soft but strong moments in the song, and it was so lovely. Then, from a more thematic POV, the Witch is characterized as “the voice of reason”. While everyone else is running around in their fairytale dream world, she is always the one there dolling out the reality checks. And if that ain’t Kourtney. Basically, I think it is her time to get the lead and she would be amazing in this role.

Baker - Seb. Finally settled on a role for him. But really, how could it be anything else? I have felt since the first time we heard him sing (in Truth, Justice, and Songs in our Key, I think) that he was severely underused. The Baker is essentially the male lead, and he has earned it. I don’t think there’s much more that needs to be said here.

Baker’s Wife - Ashlyn. Here’s the thing: could someone else be cast as Baker’s Wife? Yes. And I am sure they would do a fine job. But the thing about this role is that you often don’t realize how fantastic it is until you see someone really great playing it. There’s heart, humor, tragedy, and so much more all wrapped into this character and I would far and away trust Julia/Ashlyn with this above all others. And Baker’s Wife gets to sing a short reprise of “No One Is Alone” so I get to win both ways. No matter how I try to cast it or rearrange characters, I keep coming back to the fact that Ashlyn is just hands down the correct choice. Plus she is one of the better options when it comes to having chemistry with Seb. And I’m not even talking about romantic chemistry, just more about the camaraderie of it, and being able to really see them as a team worth rooting for. They both have an inherent sweetness that makes you care for them, which is crucial for the show. AND this would be another opportunity for Julia Lester to flex her acting after playing VERY different roles in HSM and BATB. Basically, I don’t know when it happened, but I think I am a Julia Lester stan and I only want what is best for her and I think this is it. 

Little Red - Gina. “Didn’t see that one coming did you?” -Pietro Maximoff. And honestly same. There’s always that tough moment in casting when you’ve done the more obvious ones and then you feel sort of stuck with cast choices that weren’t really your choice. But this one really grew on me. Hopefully, I can do it justice. And I will be the first to admit Gina deserves her time to shine because I do think she is amazing. It just isn’t her time yet. It also doesn’t help that Into the Woods is one of the LEAST dance-centered shows and dance it where she really puts all others to shame. So this is where we landed. But it works. I promise. Little Red as a character is pretty naïve, but covers it up with over the top confidence. That feels pretty Gina. I love where her character has gone and all the growth she is displayed in trying to be more vulnerable. But there is still a part of me that does miss mean girl Gina and I think Little Red is a great way to get that energy without backtracking the character development. I don’t think she would be the stereotypical “bratty” Little Red, but I think she could still do something great with it. Also very similar to Jack, Little Red is one of the more innocent characters that has to grow up and face a lot of harsh realities over the course of the play. And I have no doubt Gina would nail that aspect of it, too. And speaking of Jack, Little Red has a number of scenes interacting with him and you know what that means: Gina and Big Red bonding time! I really like the idea of these roles bringing the two closer as friends. And I already head-canon that they would have a ton of fun playing with the fact that they are now Big Red and Little Red (especially since he is on the shorter side and she is on the taller side). Basically I see this as a way for them to build up a really good rapport. I am also pretty convinced that Big Red is a secret Rina shipper, and this would only add to that. And finally even though this is not a dance-heavy show at all, one place where they could add a dance is during “Hello Little Girl”. Now I will be the first to admit that this song is dicey at best, particularly for Disney. But even a scene working on the dance with just the instrumental, no lyrics, could be great. I see it as a partner dance with the wolf (I don’t know dance terms, so maybe this is super vague). And oh, wouldn’t you know it? Cinderella’s Prince is often double-cast as the wolf! (WHAT ARE THE CHANCES) Meaning the Wolf would also be good ol’ Richard Bowen. And I like the idea of getting Rina scenes of them trying to work on the dance, but Ricky is super bad a leading, and they just have fun trying to figure it out. It’s also nice that it is absolutely not a romantic dance so the two wouldn’t feel any added pressure and could just have fun with one another, and that really is when Rina is at its best (not that I would say no to a scene where Gina has to teach Ricky the BATB waltz, but I digress).

Narrator/Mysterious Man - Carlos. By process of elimination, you probably could have guessed who was next. And I know this one also feels like a weird choice but I do kind of love it. First you have the narrator, which is another one of those roles that is only as memorable as the actor playing it, which I think is right up Carlos’ alley. He is always trying to put his unique stamp on things and be memorable and he would take the narrator in a very enjoyable direction. There’s also the matter that I see Carlos as something of an assistant director with Miss Jenn, which makes him a third-party observer of the shows inherently, so it is almost a little meta that he would also end up being the narrator. Then there’s is the mysterious man. I love the idea of Carlos getting to play two very different characters, but I love it even more because the mysterious man is the father of the baker which makes for a lot of sweet moments between the two of them. Yes it might be a little weird for Seblos to be playing father and son, but there is such a vulnerability and tenderness in the moments between the two characters, particularly during “No More” that I can get over it. Because I think they are one of the few pairings on this show that could really pull that off. I just think this character would be a great way to exhibit the range of Carlos.

**BONUS ALTERNATE CASTING**

I really, really love this idea and could not fault them if this was the direction they went, but I ultimately decided against it, mostly because I felt too strongly about another character having the role BUT:

Baker’s Husband - Carlos. I just really love the idea of Seblos getting to be front and center, with their dynamic as the focal point of the show. And honestly Carlos would also do an amazing job as this character. I mean, Seb and Carlos singing “It Takes Two”? How sweet is that? This would also be a great way for the development of their relationship to get a little bit more attention, instead of a side story here and there. There is a lot that could be done with this from a story perspective and I would be here for it.

Unfortunately, then that leaves me unsure of where to put Ashlyn. She could be Jack’s mother, but that feels like such a waste of her. I mean, she would do well and she does have the lead this year, so it’s not SO terrible her having a more minor character, but it just doesn’t feel right. And I really just feel so strongly that she would be the best option for Baker’s Wife out of everyone. And it opens the door to develop the Seb and Ashlyn friendship more, which I am always here for. 

Anyway. Those are my thoughts. If you made it this far: wow and thank you!

[sweetestlamb]

Make Me Crescendo

Summary: Song-ah ponders if there is truly any space left in Joon Young's life for her. Joon Young shows her exactly where her place is.

Author's Note: I didn't expect to enjoy this show as much as I do honestly, I love the dynamic and chemistry between the leads. Most of the other characters could choke for all I care, but I love Song-ah and Joonie, they are goals and they deserve to just run away and be happy. Anyway, I was inspired so this happened. (Please don't leave comments asking about when I'll write more, I'll do it when I can and when I'm inspired for all of my stories. If you are going to leave a comment, you can tell me what you liked or what I could do better, appreciate that more!) Happy reading, please ignore all my lame music puns! 😂😈 

Music filters through the doors as she watches on her heart thumping erratically, a metronome expelling the staccatos of her fear. The gaggle of female students outside the door white noise in the background, their coos and awes stabbing her paper thin heart that is wavering in her chest.

They sound so good together!

Omg, don't they look perfect?

I think they would be a much better couple!

Taking a step back her violin bangs into the wall suddenly alerting them to her presence, her eyes dart wildly like a cornered animal as they look at her with pity and sneering apologetic eyes as if saying: you brought this on yourself, how could you ever think you could have him?

With a wet gasp, she scurries off avoiding their looks clutching her hands tightly as she bursts through the doors. The cool Spring air whips her hair around her face temporarily blocking her face from onlookers, the moisture on her cheeks causes strands to stick before she pushes them back.

Seeing them play in such perfect harmony has only cemented the doubts that already fill her mind, how can see ever measure how to Jung-kyung? A woman that he has not only loved for years but who also plays her instrument far better than she ever will? If she is meant to be a replacement, she stands no chance; they are worlds apart maybe it's time she accepted that.

I'll cherish our moments today, it was an honor.

She knows what she has to do, her heart whines but she blinks away her tears. He deserves better.

His missed calls and messages taunt her as she peers down despondently at her phone, she hasn't been able to bring herself to sever their bond. Every time she starts to type out a message to set him free, his smile flashes in her mind and she's rendered comatose. Instead flinging the cursed object far away and punishing her fingers as shrill notes screech from her violin.

Avoiding him isn't as simple as she'd hoped with everyone knowing about their ill-fated relationship and constantly inquiring about his whereabouts, it becomes sickening obvious that most "friends" who approach her with their shrieking calls of "unnie" could care less about her and are instead hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

As soon as they realized he was absent and had no plans of suddenly materializing, they bombarded her with excuses of why they needed to take their leave, immediately. She vaguely wondered if they cared at all about how little they made her feel, their treatment further emphasizing how insignificant others viewed her.

She was always disposable to others. She didn't even have a best friend to turn to for advice, someone else who has decided that she simply wasn't worth the trouble of staying and fighting.

Nobody had ever deigned her worthy of fighting for.

With a forlorn sigh, she grips her purse tighter better climbing the stairs to the school entrance. She only has one class to get through today, before she could escape to her room and ruminate on how to inform Joon-young that she couldn't do this anymore.

Arriving a few minutes early to class, she takes her seat closer to her front away from the gossiping girls who had been waving her over. She had no desire to listen to their backhanded comments on her lack of talent or unbelievable relationship, their words only added fuel to the vicious thoughts already cycling in her brain.

Pretending not to hear them beckoning her over, she looks at the professor with more focus than she's currently capable of, turning a blind eye to her surroundings.

Time crawls by like molasses poured from a jar, before the professor dismisses the class causing students to bolt from their seats, she being one of the first. He typically waits for her after this class and she has very little time to flee without him catching her, ignoring the calls of her name once more she takes her leave, violin thumping a dull pain on her back.

Cracking the door open she peeks outside, a sliver of her head breaching the opening, a sigh of relief falling from her lips when she meets a vacant spot. Stepping out further she glances around, but he is nowhere to be seen, the hallways empty besides students trekking to their next classes.

Her chest aches traitorously but she internally berates herself, this is good I don't want to see him, her heart ripples at the lie, refusing to engage in this façade that she's forcing. Clutching at her chest she takes one trembling step, then another before finding her resolve and racing to the door.

So close, almost there, come on.

Hand reaching for the handle, she twists it pushing it open seconds away from freedom.

"Song-ah!" Her skin prickles from his deep baritone, his tone wrapping her in a honeyed cocoon. She hesitates, fingers twitching on the cold smooth metal.

"Song-ah, wait!" The desperation in his voice halts her escape, unable to abandon him when his voice reveals so much about how he's feeling. She loathes the mere concept of being someone who hurts him.

Reinforcing her now wavering resolve she slowly spins around, their eyes meeting in a clash, his own shining brightly as he peers into her soul. Her breath hitches as she watches him step closer to her, suddenly there isn't enough oxygen in the room, her lungs wheeze at the atmospheric change.

His beautiful hands gradually elevate, millimeters from her skin, as he begs for permission with his smoldering dark eyes.

She almost accepts defeat, before Jung-kyung's smug sour face flashes in her mind. Dousing her with icy cold realization, they just aren't meant to be.

She draws away from his searching fingers, stepping just out of his reach.

Hurt blazes across his handsome face, hardening in his eyes.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls and messages?"

He goes straight for the jugular, not pussyfooting around the elephant in the room.

"I've been busy practicing." She responds weakly, recoiling under his hard glint.

He steps forward once more, instinctively she retreats, the demure mouse to his assertive cat.

He sighs, stepping back his shoulder sagging in disappointment.

"What's wrong? Why won't you even let me come close to you? Why are you ignoring me?"

This is the moment, the one she's been yearning and waiting for, the perfect opportunity to put this sham to an end. Her mouth opens and closes as she pushes herself to be courageous for once, do the right thing and put both of them out of their misery.

You look better with her. I don't deserve you. I'm not good enough. Not strong enough. Leave. Leave me.

Please.

But, she can't. Can't get her mouth to say any of those truths. Fear and heartbreak render her immobile and cowardice takes center stage instead, ready for its solo.

"I...I...." He looks at her with warm eyes, pleading with her to finish her sentence, hope settled in the lines of his skin.

"I have to go."

"Song-ah!"

Her breath doesn't return until she's shaking on her seat at the bus stop. He hadn't chased her. Maybe he had just learned that she wasn't worthy the trouble.

Her days lapse by as she moves through life resembling a zombie, obsessively looking at her phone only to feel her heart fracture each time no notifications await her hungry eyes.

She goes to class as normal, no longer having to avoid her classmates as they have moved on to something more entertaining than her relationship. Their piteous looks make her skin crawl, her fight with Joon-young the talk of the town. Now they can freely gossip about her and how they knew it would never last, the pure glee on their faces is grotesque.

She sees him in passing in the hallway but he keeps his distance, never maintaining eye contact for too long. She's getting exactly what she wanted. Yet she feels sick to her stomach, her skin clammy and cool.

The irony isn't lost on her, how appropriate that this would be the one thing she's able to do successfully. Ruin her own life and sabotage her own happiness.

There are nights when her control falters and she stares at the illuminated screen of her phone, writing a message only to erase it with a sigh before crashing into her mattress. Her limps are heavy and uncoordinated as she flails upon the surface.

"Why does this have to be so hard?" Her question goes unanswered in the stillness of the night, as she ultimately falls into a fitful slumber.

Finally pulling herself together after days of quiet anguish, she goes back to her mission to find an accompanist.

She closes her phone as she says her final good byes to the team leader, thanking her for allowing her to use the rehearsal room in the Kyungoo building.

The winds blows the wispy ends of her skirt, dragging the material across the smooth skin of her knee. Subconsciously she tugs at the material, its a bit shorter than her usual ensemble she'd ordered it online not expecting it to hit inches above her knee. It seemed longer in the photos. 

A voice shouting her name drags her from her self-conscious inklings, as she spins around to see her potential accompanist.

A welcoming smile tugs her lips up, dimples sinking into her skin with familiarity.

Raising her hand in a small wave, bowing while calling out, "Hello! Nice to meet you, I'm Chae Song-ah, chae not choi, like the vegetable." Explaining before the inevitable questioning and confusion can sour their interaction with awkwardness. 

The sheepish grin informs her that she did the right thing, a hand is extended into her space and she grasps it in her own.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Park Min-jae." His warm smiles immediately puts her at ease. Together they enter the building amicable conversation flowing easily.

Hours pass as the music ricochets around the room, her bow light in her hands as she drags it across the strings, flabbergasted as harmonious sounds permeate the air. His fingers move in a flurry across black and white keys, shoulders bouncing in rhythmically as the song nears it end. Their last notes swirling around each other in a perfect crescendo.

"Wow, that was fun! You did great!" He breaks the silence, and his words leave her breathless.

She's been prepared for insults and sharpened words, his praise disorient her.

His wide grin leaves little room for argument so she merely nods, not quite believing him.

He starts to gather his belongings before turning to her, "I have to head out but I mean it, I think we sounded pretty good together. What do you think? Was I good enough for you?"

His innocent question plummets her into a sea of memories, his face at the forefront of her thoughts.

Shaking herself free she quietly replies, "Yes, it was good. You were good."

He lifts an eyebrow but says nothing else at her words.

"Okay, I'm free this weekend. Give me a call if you want to practice some more."

She nods finally collecting her own belongings, then turning off the lights and exiting the room.

The air is charged as the walk side by side and it's doesn't make sense until she turns the corner. Park Min-jae's excited voice never falters as she stands still, eyes locked on the new arrival.

Joon-young stands before her, eyes scouring her face before darting to the unknown man standing beside her. She watches his Adam's apple bob distractedly, as his eyes darken minutely.

"And I think we should..." Park Min-jae's voice peters off as he notices her unmoving figure before noticing that there is someone new. 

All three of them stand there wordlessly before park Min-jae cracks the uncomfortable silence.

"Hi, I'm Park Min-jae. A friend of Song-ah, nice to meet you." The and you are? lingers in the air.

Her brain stutters at the possibilities and she rushes to provide an answer.

"Oh! This is Joon-young, he's just a fri-"

"Her boyfriend." He extends a hand but his eyes never leave her face, she feels as if she's being challenged and she doesn't know how to respond.

"Nice to meet you! I didn't know you had a boyfriend, you should have let me know before flashing those pretty dimples at me." Park Min-jae's teasing smile unsettles her causing her to shift under his gaze, unbeknownst to her Joon-young's grip tightens ever so slightly in their handshake.

Suddenly her potential accompanist winces and jumps, apologetic look on his face before he retracts his hand to put them up in acquiesce.

"Sorry."

Joon-young looks at him, the seconds dragging before he nods looking away from again. Eyes for her only.

"Um..so I'll talk to you later? It was nice to meet you." Park Min-jae bows once more, glancing between them both before shaking his head and all but running away.

She feels pinned under his look and rubs her own arm simply to have something else to focus on. Feigning distraction, she looks at the ground; heart clattering frantically at his sudden appearance.

Mumbling under her breathe she finally speaks, "What are you doing here?"

She's completely unprepared for his hands to slide into hers with ease, her fingers curling around his before her brain can register what is occurring.

"Come with me." The please is unsaid but loud as a high C and she nods, helplessly following his lead as he drags her back into the rehearsal room.

The click of the door closing is harsh in the quiet of the room, as he stops in the center of the room. Large hand still wrapped around her own, his warmth drift into her brittle bones.

"Who was that?"

Glancing up at him from under dark lashes she swallows, "Park Min-jae, a pianist. I wanted to see if we could play together. My teacher recommended him."

Humming in response he stares her dead in her eyes, it takes every fiber of her being to maintain the contact.

"Why were you going to tell him I was just a friend?"

Sputtering, she chokes on nothing pulling her hand away to cover her mouth as small coughs escape.

Concern flashes on his face before it's driven away with anger.

She quivers under his hard stare, "I thought....I didn't know...we haven't spoken in days."

Pressing forward he invades her space, jaw tight.

"Do you think it's that easy?"

Mouth falling open in a perfect o, she looks at him in confusion. Lost at his meaning and wondering what is going through his mind, it's difficult to read his body language.

"What?"

"Do you think our relationship is that... trivial? Do you think a few days without conversing is all it takes to end it?"

Anger and hurt color the words as they fall from his lips and land like daggers in her stomach.

But he's not finished, not by a long shot.

"You can't just push me away and replace me with someone else!"

His cry echoes around the room and she stands in shock, contemplating picking her jaw up off the ground. When he says nothing more, simply pushes out harsh breaths and squeezes his fists by his side she finds her voice.

"What are you talking about? I'm not doing...that."

"Then what are you doing? You don't answer my calls or call me for days and now you're here with someone else, who flirts with you right in my face." She collapses guiltily. "How can you not have time for me? I'm your boyfriend, why can't you make space for me?"

Is there any room for me?

Like a wave, all her emotions and pain and insecurities and fears come surging out, his question the blow that broke the dam.

"You're the one who has no space for me. I saw you two that day, you looked like you fit. Two musical prodigies, it made sense. More sense than you and I. I can't do it, I can't pretend that I don't see everyone looking at us. Nobody understands why you'd want me. You should be with someone like her, she's from a good family and she plays the violin better than I'll ever--"

His hands latch onto her shaking shoulders, pushing her backwards until her violin collides with a click into the piano.

She whimpers as he gazes down at her, frustration streaming off him in waves.

"You don't understand how I could want you? I'll explain it, in detail. Listen closely because I don’t want to ever need to this again"

She gulps.

He swaggers closer, arms reaching over her shoulders to rest on the smooth surface of the piano. Brushing against her shoulder before gently gripping the straps of her violin, he removes them before placing the instrument carefully on the ground. Taking the weight from her shoulders.

His warm breath caresses her skin before he cups her face, hands tender on her hot cheeks. Air catches in her throat as she shyly looks up at him.

Almost instantly he smiles in return, dimples greeting her as his smile warms her to her core.

"I like how you make me smile, whenever I see you my heart feels at ease and I feel like everything will be okay. I like how you smile at me, you look prettiest when smiling at me."

Her cheeks flush from his compliments and she turns away embarrassed only to feel his sure fingers on the point of her chin, dragging her back into the penetrating line of his eyes; refusing to let her push him away again.

"I like how hard you work to be better, I like how you never stoop to others level you're kind to everyone despite how they treat you. I like your dimples, I always want to touch then. I like how you listen to me and want to hear about my life. I like that you don't treat me like I'm breakable and you tell me when you don't like something."

Then the air crackles as his hands smooth down her skin before settling on her neck, tugging her closer, she reaches out to grab his waist for balance.

"I like kissing you, I like how your lips feel on mine. I like how you open up for me. I like the little sounds you make."

Like a manifestation, a small shocked gasps tumbles from her lips and his eyes meander down to look at them in response. His own cheeks are scorching, red and flushed too but he doesn't seem like he has any intentions of stopping. Fearlessly pushing past his comfort zones.

Pulling her against his body now, his fingers twisted in the dark material of his button down shirt, he gazes at her adoration pouring from his eyes.

"I like you Song-ah. I like you so much. I don't want anyone else, there's space for you. In my heart there's so much space just for you."

He brushes her hair out of her face, his face open and vulnerable.

"Do you want it?"

Do you want me?

She looks at him as he awaits her answer and wonders what she ever did to deserve this? It seems too good to be true, she has never won anything in her life coming in last at everything that has counted. So how can this be true, how can she possibly deserve something has precious and valuable as his heart?

Smiling in defeat she nods at him, "I want you."

His joy is contagious as he grabs her, strong arms wrapping her in a warm embrace. She returns the hug, face smashed into the soft cotton of his shirt.

Slowly they draw away from each other, smiles not fading and then she catches his incessant gaze on her lips.

"Can I?"

Blushing she bites her lip nervously, tingling under his close appraisal. At the merest nod of her head he's on her, his lips crashing into her own as his hands tighten on their new location on her hips.

Tilting onto the tips of her toes she presses back, moaning as his tongue teases the seams of her closed mouth, her arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.

His taste explodes on her buds as his slick muscle swipes around her moist cavern, he delicately sucks on her tongue enticing her to join him in his explorations. She trips as she attempts to press even closer to him, breaking their deep embrace.

Embarrassed at her lack of grace and coordination she opens her mouth, apology on the tip of her tongue. Before his next move steals her breath.

Easy as pie, he grips tightens on her waist as he hoists her up until she's sitting on the edge of the grand piano.

Her blush is now painful as it rages on her exhausted cheeks.

He smiles at her, disarming her before he steps forward her new position bringing their lips in perfect proximity.

"You looks pretty when you blush too." He teases and she slaps his chest in reprimand but he catches the appendages, trapping them between their body as he descends on her mouth again.

Kisses deeper and slower this time, largo as their tongues roll and plunder. His hands stroke her hair, his fingers traipsing across the soft skin of neck. He suddenly grabs her hips dragging her across the smooth surface until their groins collide and she gasps loudly at the hardness that jabs into her.

They both bolt back, frenzied eyes meeting as they take in this moment.

She's never gone this far before, never even kissed anyone. He is the owner of so many of her first, it's terrifying.

Looking down she sees his straining erection, a long line tenting the satin smoothness of his dress paints. Blushing she forces her eyes from the tempting sight, to look at his face. Momentarily frozen under his look, first time seeing them set ablaze with desire. All for her. 

"Are you okay?" His voice rumbles making her skin pebble with anticipation.

Is she okay? She can't quite answer such a big question, her head spinning from everything that has happened. She feels like her skin is going to burst apart and he's the only thing keeping her together, both her destruction and her resurrection.

Wrapping her legs around his waist she boldly yanks him back into her orbit, kissing the question off his mouth. He stills for a moment before responding, devouring her mouth as she opens up for him, slick noises loud to her ears.

Her lips are raw and tender as they kiss making up for all their time apart, then she feels her world tilting as he presses her back onto the piano, lips still swallowing her own until her back meets the cool material and their lips disengage.

He looks at her, her body spread across the instrument like an offering. She feels naked under his gaze.

Then his eyes shift to her skirt, high on her thigh from her sprawled position and she starts to sit up but he's faster to react, catching the edge of her skirt and fingering the material that trails across her thigh.

After thick moments of silence, he gazes up at her slowly drawing her skirt up her thighs, the cool air rushes across her hot skin and she gasps and squirms under his steady hands.

He stops at her movement glancing at her, she bites her lip, opening her legs ever so slightly and that's all the answer that he needs. Tugging the material slowly, slowly, adagio up her skin pushing it over her hips and his groan causes wetness to pool between her legs, she looks away in shame.

He fingers at her stark white panties, she jumps at his first touch on the skin above her undergarment. Peering down to watch his eyes locked on her in awe, his long fingers running across her skin before he stops to tug at the cute little bow on the top of her underwear.

Eyes never leaving hers, he drags the thin material down pausing to give her a chance to stop him, one word from her and this will all come to an end she has no doubts.

Tacet.

He pulls the material down, down before dragging it off her feet and folding it neatly in a square before placing it on a chair to the side.

"Beautiful."

His eyes are smoldering on her skin as she eagerly awaiting his next move, equal parts excitement and anxiety.

Clutching her eyes shut she grips futilely for purchase, before he knocks the breath from her lungs with his first slow drag on her opening, his tongue swiping through the moisture dripping from her. A gasp is punched from her chest, as he licks at her again, deeper the second time almost slurping at her and she cries out from the foreign sensation, pleasure ravaging her body.

"Ah! Joon-young ah!"

He surges at her cry and subsequent proclamation of his name, nimble fingers soon joining his tongue and pushing knuckle deep into her wet bud playing her as expertly as his beloved piano, her whines and whimpers serving as music to his ears.

Using two fingers he pries her lips open, exposing her further to his hungry eyes and mouth. His tongue stiffen into a point he jabs into her drenched hole, collecting her sweet nectar as he swipes across her walls.

She pants loudly, grabbing his hair in warning as she feels a ball tightening in the pits of her stomach, another first as he thrusts into her over and over, her skin puckering up in anticipation.

"Please, I, I...."

As her body nears its crescendo, release blinding her as pleasure flashes blinding white, suddenly he pulls away, she whines from the emptiness crying out for him.

When she opens her eyes in a weak glare, she finds him bent over the piano his bangs sweaty as they stick to his forehead. Gathering herself she sits up, eyes widening in surprise and arousal when she sees his erection jutting from his own fly and his fist wrapped around the rigid ruddy flesh.

He'd been touching himself while tasting her. That had been enough to hurl him dangerously close to the edge. Something like pride bubbles in her chest.

Clamoring off the piano, her heels clicks when she lands on the floor and that catches his attention.

He looks up at her with dazed eyes, looking younger with his bangs skewed and messy, his lips shiny with her condensation.

Taking the lead she grasps his hands tugging him until he snaps out of his stupor, within two steps they reach the piano bench and he looks at it and then her, puzzled before she gently presses his shoulders and seats him on the bench.

It's his turn to gasp as she climbs into his lap, her face scarlet red as his erection brushes against her sacred flower.

"Are you sure?" He asks, using every last bit of control to keep his hips still even as his body aches to plunge into her wet hole, mere inches away the heat wafting off all too tempting.

"Yes." She watches as he grips himself by the base, rubbing the head through her juices and her head falls back from the sensation and then his tip is at her entrance and she holds her breath.

He reaches up to hold her face, forcing her to meet his eye, "Breathe." He commands and as she inhales he slides into her, breaching her tight opening with one long smooth thrust upwards.

Her arms tighten around the wide stretch of his shoulders as gravity drags her further down his impressive length, pain and pleasure warring for dominance.

"Just a minute." She pleads and instantly he stops, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she loosens around him. When she can breathe again, she lifts herself up before sliding back down pleasure knocking pain back on its ass.

Immediately she needs more, lifting up again before slamming down onto his hard cock, wet sounds echoing off the walls and at first he is motionless, simply letting himself be used by her. But then he grips her tight cheeks, using them as leverage as he plants his feet and viciously pistons into her, her shriek deafening in this room made for acoustics.

They crash into each other, as they chase their release, his fingers easily unbuttoning her shirt and pushing it off her skin before catching her pebbled nipples through the thin lace of her bra. Her soft breasts jiggle as she bounces in his lap, his hard length driving into her, over and over and over.

At a particularly brutal thrust of his hips, she loses her precarious balance and falls back, instantly he grips her waist slowing her descent and lessening the blow, her back crashes into the piano keys and jarring dissonance filling the air.

They both glance at each other before smiling, recalling their last mishap with the piano after their first kiss.

Her sprawled position on the piano opens her wider and without pause he thrusts up into her again, tugging her back to meet his movement.

Light flashes behind her eyelids as he fucks into her, the piano crying out underneath their onslaught. She's too close to care and his frenzied thrusts make it clear he's not far behind.

He pries her eyes open once more, before kissing her. The gentle press of his lips in complete opposition to the hard hits of his hips. 

"Please, come." He whispers, begging her and simultaneously informing her of his plans.

She feels every molecule in her body burst apart as she vibrates on the piano, walls tightening around his length as he struggles to thrust through the vicelike grip she has on him before a hot stream fills her up, sticky and leaking, and he melts under her his head falling onto her belly.

It feels..... weird. Not nearly as sexy as it's depicted in videos. But a piece of her is giddy to be so full of him, her blush permanently stained on her cheek at this point.

Gently he drags himself out of her, she shudders as she feels his release leaking out without him there to keep it in. When she glances down pearly white substance is smeared across the keys of the piano.

She immediately feels filthy, complete disbelief at what exactly they'd done and where they'd done it. She covers her face in shame.

Something brushes against her sensitive skin and her eyes pop openly only to shriek as she watches in horror as Joon-young, cleans up the mess between her legs and the piano keys with a handkerchief.

Her handkerchief to be exact.

Grinning bashfully at her he shrugs, shoulders now light as his hair flops on his face.

"I'll wash it later."

Too embarrassed to answer she merely stands up, small smile tugging at her lips as she picks up her neatly folder panty before stepping back into it.

"Do you see now?" Do you see how much I want you? How much space there is, just for you?"

She's fighting losing battle. The irony isn't lost on her, the one time she loses it's the best thing that's ever happened to her.

In the hallway Jung-kyung pounds her fist into the wall, arriving minutes ago to practice with Joon-young for her recital only to hear the loud crashes of a piano keys. She'd been worried about him, was he angry because she was late? Missing her terribly?

She'd rushed to open the door only to stop frozen as she heard moans following the clash of the piano, soft feminine moans followed by a voice she knew all too well. Jealous and rage consumed her at the thought of that...nobody touching her Joon-young.

Taking as deep breath she turns around walking away, she will not give up on him but staying right now is impossible she can't bear the thought of seeing him glowing from being with someone else. This was probably how he felt watching her all these years.

She will be patient and wait for him.

They are destined and his time with Song-ah is fleeting, she knows he wants her. There isn't space for anyone else.

[heavencollins]

Top 10 Films of 2020: Part One

2020 was a rough year for a lot of reasons, but even more rough due to the lack of an existent film industry for over half of the year.  Sure, there are small productions happening and movies being released on VOD, as well as some in theatres, but so many great films were pushed back this year—movies I was excited to possibly have on my top ten.  Minari, Promising Young Woman, Zola, The Green Knight, Saint Maud.  Okay most of those are A24 releases but A24 literally released next to none of their slate for this year and it’s one of the most disappointing things to happen in the entertainment industry in my opinion.  

Alas, I still found cinema through streaming, paying $20 for a VOD rental, and those amazing $1.80 rentals from Redbox (remember when they were only a dollar?  because I do).  And honestly?  It was probably the hardest time curating a top ten that I’ve had in a long time; with so much just available through the internet and owning every single popular streaming service, it was both impossible to watch everything I wanted but also since I watched a lot of what i wanted, I ended up loving most of it.  For a year that was so dismal in every other way possible, the films that were released ended up being a shining light more often than not.  Of course, like every other year, a lot of hot garbage came out too, but that isn’t the focus of this—the great, amazing, can’t believe these are real films.  

So let’s start from number ten.  This was my first and only $20 rental this year, starring a man who I personally admire: Pete Davidson.  

10. The King Of Staten Island, directed by Judd Apatow and written by Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, and Dave Sirus.  

Judd Apatow is one of the first directors who I watched religiously, and hearing that he was doing a film with Pete Davidson that was essentially based on Davidson’s life meant that I knew I’d have to watch it.  Scott, played by Davidson, is a twenty-something with no direct path in life; he lives with his mother, his sister is going off to college—something he never attempted—and he has no real career.  His father died in a large building structure fire, much like Davidson’s actual father, a firefighter who passed away while responding to the twin towers during 9/11.  Scott is emotionally a wreck, plagued with depression and anxiety, a chronic weed smoker, and dreams of being a tattoo artist that he practices by tattooing his group of rag-tag friends, but none of the tattoos are very great.  

The thing about an Apatow film is they border the line between comedy and drama very well, kind of a complicated little dance.  But, King of Staten Island is very much a drama more than a comedy.  Bill Burr plays Ray, the father of a kid that Scott tattoos earlier on in the film.  Ray comes stomping up to Scott’s mother’s house, and Margie, played by Marissa Tomei, opens the door.  It’s essentially love at first sight.  She hasn’t dated since Scott’s father passed, and to make matters worse, Ray is also a firefighter.  This complicates emotions for Scott, as he loves his mother but also doesn’t know how to deal with the feeling that his mother is finally moving on and may face heartbreak again.  

Davidson puts it all on the table in this film.  It’s poignant and realistic; at the start, Scott is driving down the highway and closes his eyes, way longer than you should.  It sets the tone from the start that this man isn’t okay, but also he’s scared of dying because as soon as he opens his eyes again and sees he may be about to crash, he quickly panics and readjusts his wheel.  This struck a chord with me as most people know that Davidson has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past.  It’s a beautiful film that memorializes both how much Davidson’s father meant to him, but also the cycles of grief and trauma that last throughout your life.  

9: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), directed by Cathy Yan and written by Christina Hodson.

Suicide Squad is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  Birds of Prey is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  I never, ever, ever thought I’d see a day where a DC movie was in my top ten, but this year anything is possible.  Birds of Prey is a display of feminism, badassery, and all around perfection.  You jump right into the story, hearing Margot Robbie’s classic Harley Quinn voice laid over an animation showing what we missed in her life so far, which means you don’t have to have any previous knowledge of the other films.  Birds of Prey is meant to stand alone from any other movie preceding this one, and that’s just part of why it’s so great.

This film knows not to take itself too seriously.  Margot Robbie is a dream as Harley Quinn, using just the right amount of playfulness to put a little edge on her, while also maintaining the manic-panic-pixie-dream-girl effect.  Perhaps the best scene is when Harley goes and purchases the perfect egg breakfast sandwich, and then she drops it, causing a dramatic slow motion effect that proves she really does love that sandwich more than anything in the world.  Or her realistic apartment, nothing truly fancy, just a little hole in the wall above a rundown Chinese restaurant.  But then she has an amazing ensemble of other women actors around her, which are what really uplift her performance. 

The funhouse fight scene at the end may be the best in superhero movie history.  I mean, I guess, is Harley Quinn really a superhero?  She’s kind of the anti-hero, which is what makes her so great.  She’s somebody who isn’t even close to perfect but she still succeeds and tries to help and uplift the other women on her team.  There’s just something special about this movie that made me smile and laugh the entire time.  It’s a reminder that it’s okay to have fun every once in a while.  

8: The Assistant, directed and written by Kitty Green.

For those who don’t know, I work as an assistant during the day for a small business here in Vermont.  The work is mundane but it’s a job that’s giving me experience for the future.  In The Assistant, Jane, played by Julia Garner, is an assistant to a “powerful entertainment mogul.”  She gets lunch, answers phones, is the first one into the office, the last one out of the office, finds herself overshadowed by her male counterparts and getting the majority of the “grunt” work, and becomes more and more aware of what’s really going on at this office throughout a day in her life.  

What’s interesting about this film is nothing is ever seen; everything Jane starts to feel is just based on intuition.  Her boss is tricky, finding ways to keep his abuse of women out of the public eye, out of the eye of any female employees.  This is obviously in response to #MeToo, Times Up, and the Harvey Weinstein news from the last few years, and it works surprisingly well as a film that just unnerves you and gets under your skin.  

The reality of assault in the film industry is that until it’s widely public and known, nobody is going to know about it.  You can report it to your company, to other women, to other men, to anybody, and nobody will take you seriously until they either experience it themselves or know somebody else who has.  The Assistant hits the ball out of the park with the ending, even if it doesn’t give a vindictive satisfaction to viewers, because it’s simply the truth of the matter.  

7: Tenet, directed and written by Christopher Nolan.

I really don’t know what to say about this one.  It’s really controversial to like it but I absolutely LOVED this movie, it’s pure fucking vibes.  A lot of people are cinema purists, which I am not, and will never claim to be, which was a huge deal with this film.  Personally, this works way better at home than it ever would in a theater.  It’s slightly long, the sound mixing makes it so it can be hard to hear dialogue over loud noises and the score, and it’s the type of movie you may have to rewind  a few times.  

My partner and I watched this in 4K Ultra HD with subtitles on, and let me tell you, it was amazing.  Everything about the acting, the diversity in the film, the fact that Nolan literally has a character say “Don’t try to understand it, just experience it”???? VIBES.  That’s all I can say about it.  Plus, Elizabeth Debicki plays an actual badass who stands against her abuser and that enough is five stars.  A tall queen standing up against her short joker—absolute feminism.  

Sure, no character gets any development, but is that seriously necessary for every film?  It’s an action flick about time and space and none of it makes sense and you can’t force it to.  Why does everything need to make sense in a time where we are literally living through a pandemic?  Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience of Tenet.  It’s more fun when you don’t take it seriously.  

6: The Devil All The Time, directed by Antonio Campos and written by Antonio Campos, Donald Ray Pollock, and Paulo Campos.

I never read the book this was based on, but this film made me want to.  I love a film where multiple plot lines converge into one central story and this one did it so well, all with the same theme surrounding every single character: the guilt of sin and how no matter how much you think you can save yourself, you can’t truly save yourself.  I’m not a huge fan of Tom Holland, but he shines as Arvin from beginning to end.  Pattinson brings a creepy southern preacher to life with an accent that he will never be able to match again.  Keough gives a performance you can only sympathize with as you know she’s being manipulated the entire time.  Every character in this is corrupt in their own way but some in worse ways than others.

I don’t know how much to say about this one without spoiling it, either, because the core of this film is on the characters and what leads to their untimely ends, because pretty much everybody ends up dead.  It’s grim and dark but it’s so beautiful and tells the story in a way that keeps you interested throughout the entire run time.  It surprised me but there’s never truly been a Robert Pattinson starring movie that I’ve hated, so am I really surprised?  I’m a TwiHard at heart even at age 22. 

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – The Arena

A/N – I finally came back to this, my poor abandoned baby.  As usual, a special thanks to @rocksinmuffin​​ without whom, this story wouldn’t exist.

Warnings – Minor suicide mention.

Rating – T

“That is the cruellest thing I have ever seen you do,” Swerve glowered at you.

“It had to be done. There was nothing else for it,” You replied nonchalantly.

“RODNEY DID NOTHING WRONG.”

“He existed.”

“SO YOU JUST KICKED HIM OUT FOR EXISTING?”

“Look, you get to choose your Animal Crossing villagers, and I get to choose mine.”

“Abuse them, more like,” Swerve pouted.

“Fine, do you want to play on the switch and adopt an ugly-ass hamster who does nothing but bitch all day?” You asked, holding the console out to Swerve.

He took it from you, placing it on the tallest shelf in the hab-suite, “You can have this back when you learn kindness, you monster.”

“… That’s just mean,” You said, looking despondently at the shelf which was labelled No Man’s land. Beside the switch was a copy of Harry Potter which had been removed from you until you could read it without yelling at Snape every time you saw his name, and several pictures of Getaway which you had scrawled insults on; Swerve wasn’t punishing you for those, he just liked admiring them every now and then while you worked on new insults to scribble.

“Okay, fine, you can have it back right now, if you say that hamsters are cute,” Swerve grinned.

“Clearly, you’ve never seen one in real life. They work for the devil and steal people’s souls. I’m ninety percent sure that they also have armies ready to-”

Pain wracked your body and you woke up screaming to find your captors prodding you with weapons akin to cattle prods but much larger and stronger. It was the same creatures that had captured you.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” You yelled through the pain.

The humanoids didn’t reply, staying eerily silent; you wondered whether they were even capable of communication in a way that you might understand.

“All right, that’s enough… For now,” A human called, stepping forward, looking completely out of place among the others.

Your captors backed away, leaving you alone with the human on the opposite side of the cell. You glared at the woman, who couldn’t have been older than thirty. She wore acidic green armour that bore a symbol of a decapitated robotic head with wires and cables sticking out from the neck; the ensemble made you nervous.

“So… You’re our newest contestant. How dull,” She commented boredly, examining you.

“Contestant? What do you mean?” You asked fearfully.

Once again, you were left without a reply as the woman pulled out a dictation machine and began talking into it as if you weren’t there. “Subject is of questionable build. A Minibot. No definable insignia – probably a NAIL. Presumably no fighting skill of which to speak. No weapon attachments that can be seen. One noticeable draw to the crowds is that it’s a female – a rarity in itself.”

“Oh my God, are you- Fuck, are you putting me in the hunger games?” You demanded incredulously.

“The bot uses organic terms in communication. It’s possible that it has spent much of its time around organic communities rather than with its own kind.”

Although you knew you could argue that you weren’t originally a Cybertronian, you decided that it probably wouldn’t get you very far with your captor; she was clearly only interested in her job, whatever that was. You doubted that you would get anywhere talking to her.

“So that’s it? You’re going to put me into an arena to fight? Did I get it right? Hey! HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU. YEAH, BITCH WITH THE BAD HAIR, YOU!”

The childish attempt at an insult earned you a bemused glance, and the woman paused the dictation machine.

“You ought to mind your manners, or you’ll be in a much worse condition before the fight, and that will only bore the spectators,” She warned you.

“I’ll behave, if you at least tell me your name. I’d like to know who I’m insulting.”

Your roguish attitude earned a sadistic smile; it wasn’t every-day that your captor met a Cybertronian with any spirit left, “Lady Ouida.”

“Stupid name,” You murmured, mostly to hide your fear. “So I’m right about this being a colosseum of sorts?”

“Yes. You are to fight in the arena.”

“And if I win, I go free?”

“No. If you win, we kill you anyway. The people are out for Cybertronian blood after all.”

“Wow… That’s so fucking stupid. Like for real, did you take this out of a book? It’s not very creative is it? How many movies have you seen where the hero is thrown into a death ring to battle? Plus, there’s not going to be much of a fight. I mean, look at me. My arms are all fucked up from your bodyguards, I’m clearly not a fighter, and I’m like only three feet taller than you. Factor in multiple opponents and you get a five-minute fight, tops which will mostly be me running for my life.”

“You don’t seem too concerned with your fate.”

“Bitch, I am terrified, but I’ve seen death and been dragged back from it. I have defined the meaning of an out of body experience. Right now, I am competing with forces that you cannot even imagine in a brain that was not meant for me. In other words, there is nothing you can do that is worse than what I’ve been dealing with for the last forty-eight hours so GET FUCKED.”

The words PERSONALITY MALFUNCTION appeared on your visor, and you knew they were true. In your human form, you tended to avoid confrontation where you could. However, faced with the prospect of unavoidable death, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were only two options left for you anyway. Die in an arena, or wait for the Lost Light to come to your rescue. As you stared into the grinning face of Lady Ouida who had developed a sudden interest in you, you hoped it was the latter.

Chromedome sat miserably in the brig, having been put there for attempting to forcibly alter Swerve’s memory banks with mnemosurgery. He had lost count of how many times he had been in that exact scenario, where mnemosurgery was the only way forward, but nobody else would see it that way. How many times had Rewind refused to talk to him because of it? How often had he been forced to alter Rewind’s memory afterwards so he wouldn’t leave him? Chromedome held his head in his servos, thinking of Rewind. He wouldn’t believe it if Chromedome said it was all for Swerve. So what if mnemosurgery felt good, as long as it helped people it wasn’t that bad. Sure there were risks, but there were risks to all sorts of things that people did anyway.

With nothing else to do but think of his failure, Chromedome waited despondently in his cell, with the faintest of hopes that Rewind might deign to visit him, even if it was just to yell.

Ultra Magnus watched the security footage stoically from the computer panel in his office. As well as Chromedome, he was also watching Swerve, who had been restrained for his own safety and was sobbing loudly, screaming your name, and Whirl who was in the med-bay, awaiting yet another energon transfusion. Of the three, Whirl worried Ultra Magnus the most; he was not taking well to Ratchet’s surgery. He had damaged one of his internal components beyond repair and it was now up to Perceptor to create a suitable replacement. The replacement would undoubtedly need constant maintenance for the rest of Whirl’s life if he survived, but it was the only way forward.

Ultra Magnus looked up as the door flew open, and Rodimus came barging in.

“THIS IS A DISASTER!” Rodimus roared.

For once, Ultra Magnus didn’t have the spark to placate Rodimus; he was right, everything was going disastrously.

“WHIRL IS DYING. CHROMEDOME IS ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP. REWIND BLAMES ME FOR WHATEVER REASON. SWERVE IS SUICIDAL AND (Y/N) IS MISSING. Please tell me you have something that might help fix this mess?”

“I do not,” Ultra Magnus replied quietly. He had never felt like such a failure. Under his watch, everything had gone wrong. The Magnus armour was getting heavier every day; he didn’t deserve to wear it.

“FRAG! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? SHE COULD BE IN DANGER. THE ROD POD’S TRACKING SYSTEM IS FRAGGED. THE CREW ARE FURIOUS. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE-”

“OUT OF THE WAY, COMING THROUGH,” Nightbeat’s voice called in the corridor as he weaved through the few bots out there and made his way into the office with Megatron close behind him.

“Rodimus. Ultra Magnus,” Megatron greeted professionally, before gesturing for Nightbeat to take over.

“I FOUND (Y/N),” Nightbeat began ecstatically, completely missing the sombre atmosphere.

“What? How?” Rodimus asked, dumbfounded.

“I watched the Rod-Pod’s ejection from the bay and followed it through the security cameras. After that, it was simply a matter of predicting several plausible trajectory’s considering that (Y/N) isn’t a pilot-”

Rodimus waved his arms, “Forget I asked. Just tell me where she is.”

Nightbeat ignored his disappointment that the big reveal had been ruined; it had taken a lot of work for him to covertly listen to all the radio stations where you might have landed and then locate you from that. “She’s on a privately owned planet called The Arena.”

“The… The Arena?”

Megatron nodded solemnly, “Yes. My research tells me that they capture stray Cybertronians and-”

“Don’t tell me. They put them in the arena ‘cos they think that’s creative… Primus, that’s annoying. All right, plan time. We change course, go to The Arena, break in, rescue (Y/N) and make everything go back to normal. Any questions?”

Megatron took a moment to consider the plan, “How-”

“No? Great. Then let’s go. We’ve got work to do.” Rodimus transformed and drove out of the office to head to Brainstorm’s lab. He had brushed it off with his usual casual demeanour but just like everyone else, he was furious that anyone would want to hurt you. If he was going to rescue you, he would need weapons; the morally-grey kind that Brainstorm made.

Swerve sniffled, feeling pathetic as coolant that he couldn’t wipe away under his constraints dripped down his front. Yet another failed suicide attempt to go on his record; he couldn’t even do that right. He remembered the last time he had done something so drastic, when you had come to save him from himself; you had probably only married him out of pity. Despite the depressing thought, Swerve found himself unable to believe it. You had married him because for some reason that he didn’t understand, you loved him. The two of you had spent one year married and it had been the best year of Swerve’s life. When you brought up the idea of sparklings on your anniversary, Swerve couldn’t believe that life could be any better, and now after all of that you were gone.

Although Swerve longed to wallow in self-pity, he couldn’t help thinking of Chromedome. It seemed that his last conversation was finally sinking into Swerve’s processor. What was it he had said exactly? Swerve vented air through his systems, calming himself so he could isolate the memory file.

“YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT (Y/N)!”

While it was true that Chromedome could have just said that to stop Swerve from ending his life, there was also a slim possibility that Chromedome really did have new information about you.

Swerve kept replaying the memory’s audio, listening for the truth. As a bartender, he liked to believe he was good at separating lies from the truth, but when the other bots were sober, he wasn’t very good at it.

“(Y/N)…” Swerve whispered your name, wondering what he might not know about you as of that moment.

What if you had come back and he was wallowing in his cell, too wrapped up in himself to know about it? It wasn’t possible. If you were back, it didn’t matter what state Swerve was in; he would have been taken to you. Unless…

Swerve struggled to sit up, his processor racing with endless possibilities pertaining to your fate. What if he hadn’t been taken to you because your new body was failing? What if you were dying and Swerve wasn’t there? What if he was the only one that could help you?

Unbalanced as he was, Swerve managed to stand up. He started kicking at the door, yelling as loud as he could.

“HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! TAKE ME TO MY WIFE! TELL ME WHERE (Y/N) IS!”

Swerve didn’t pay much heed to what he was saying. All he cared about was getting to you, no matter what it took.

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